the beauty of "why"

(This post is a bit more philosophical than most . . . enjoy . . . )

Once Gemma passed her third birthday, it was like a switch flipped on in her little mind and everything was “why?”  Her little cousin who is ten months older had gone through exactly this stage and it was kind of funny to see Gemma mirroring her so precisely.  It was also a bit annoying, to be honest!  “Why is it Tuesday?”  “Why is her name ___?” The worst moments came when I would try to curtail the questioning by including the reason in my statement to begin with, and it was as if it didn’t matter one bit.  “We’re going to hold hands to be safe.”  “Why?” “To be safe.  That was the reason.”  “Why?” I thought I’d mentally prepared myself for the “Why is the sky blue?” stage, but I was finding these questions not only baffling but wearing.  I wanted to honor her curiosity with answers, though there were times when we just had to put a stop to it.  Some of the questions got me thinking, though, and ended up being very beautiful. 

I remember the day at the dinner table that Gemma first asked “Why do we say ‘in Jesus name’ when we pray?”  After some thought, John came up with this catechistic response:  “Well, Gemma, there are three reasons really.  Can you repeat them after me?  The first is that God is very holy.  The second is that we are not holy.  And the third is that Jesus brings our prayers to God.”  After that, she would often ask “Why do we pray in Jesus’ name?” and I think it was just so that she could hear this simple doctrine reinforced.

“Please keep your teacups on the carpet, so they won’t break on the tile.  “Why?” “Carpet is soft, and if the teacups fall, they will probably be fine.  But the tile is very hard and could break your teacups if they fall on it.” “Why is carpet soft?” Sometimes when the question “why?” seemed pointless, I’d be tempted to respond with “It just is.  There isn’t really a reason.” Usually it started with a “normal” three-year-old “why?” and the string just continued as she questioned every answer.  But our three-year-old had stumbled into world-view stuff, and I’m thankful that my mathematical side started to resurface in answers like this:  “Some things are true by definition.  You can’t prove anything without starting somewhere, without assuming a few basic facts.  We start with the assumptions that God exists and that He has revealed Himself to us in His Word.”  At this point, John would start to roll his eyes because my words were clearly over Gemma’s head.  But they are principles of reasoning which I hope will stick with her when she is older.

Other times, our conversations went more like this:  “Why is Snow White’s dress blue on the top and yellow on the bottom?”  “Well, Gemma, that’s because whoever drew her like that—probably Walt Disney—decided that those would be nice colors for her dress.”  “Why?”  “Well, I don’t know, but the one who designs something gets to choose!  When you draw your own pictures, you get to decide what they will look like.”  But there was something deeper here than drawing.  The one who designs gets to choose.  She gets to decide on the ins-and-outs of what she designs.  He gets to make the rules for His creations.  This is not only a logical conclusion, but it is also underscored in the Bible in such passages as Romans 9. 

As I ponder the major internal struggles of our culture today, I think that this concept lies at the root.  As a nation, we’ve hallowed “freedom of choice” from the very beginning.  I’m not saying that this is entirely wrong; it led to a nation free from the tyranny of Britain and look how many incredible things have happened in this unique, prosperous country to this day.  But I think that we have our major struggles because some value freedom of choice higher than God and His designs for us.  Usually we get along all right because most people will stomp on the inclinations of their hearts if acting on them would harm someone else.  (We basically all agree that cruelty is wrong, right?)  But some of us also believe that God created us, and the one who designs gets to choose.  He gives us the freedom to make choices, which is great, but He also has a guidebook—and it is so much more than a guidebook; it is the great story of His plan to rescue His people from sin through the blood of Jesus Christ—but it is a guidebook nonetheless.  He tells us in His book that the tiniest human being has been knit together by His loving hand and is known to Him, and that’s why some of us counter “a woman’s right to choose” with “well, wait a minute, you can’t choose if you’re hurting someone else.”  The Designer set the laws of science, physics and mathematics into place, and what a joy it is to discover them.  The Designer put together our bodies and gave us a thirst for knowledge.  He made the rules for morality, and how we spend some of our money, and for sexuality, and told us, “No, you don’t get to choose that, either.  I’ve already chosen how it works best and you need to trust Me.”  To assert otherwise is just as silly as trying to tell Walt Disney that Snow White’s dress should be all blue, and Mickey should have been a bear instead of a mouse.

This brings us back to the teacup question--what we rely on as our basic presuppositions.  You may choose not to believe in the Creator and Designer God, and instead answer these questions with “There isn’t really a reason.”  Many do.  I think however, that if you apply this principle consistently, you will find yourself in a world of nihilism, which is hardly a satisfying one. Personally, I’m thankful that we humans have a limited freedom of thought and choice, and that our Holy Father has not left us to ourselves and our own devices.  The work of creation scientists has never held more significance in my understanding.

Now Gemma is four, and I’m relieved that the unending “why’s?” have settled down a bit.  I’m also thankful for what I learned through that season:  sometimes it is helpful and beautiful to ask those inane simple questions because of the basic truths that come to the surface when I think hard enough about the answers.  Praise God that there are answers, even when I don’t understand them.  

The Week Between

We were home for only about three weeks from Thanksgiving until nearly Valentine's Day, whew!  Life on the road has its challenges but is not without its own joys, as well. Hopefully I'll get to sharing more trip pictures soon, because there are some precious memories there! For now, though, since it's February it does seem to be about time I scribbled down some goals for 2015 (in no particular order), sprinkling in some updates about the week we spent at home post-Christmas for good measure. 

(We watched these cuties so their parents could enjoy a date night!)

House goals:

- Clear pictures from under the guest bed and make a gallery wall

- Give the guest room a face lift in preparation to become the big girl room

- Chalkboard and plate rack in the kitchen

(Ruthie had her first day of Sunday School, and loved every minute :))

Personal goals:

- Expand my Biblical literacy by keeping up with an in-depth personal Bible study all year

- Reread Pilgrim's Progress and/or read John Adams

- Workout at least 4 times per week

- Blog a bit more than last year, about once per week

(Our friends watched our little ones and we enjoyed a fancy dinner out.)

Goals for my children:

- Research more educational theorists, especially Charlotte Mason

- Continue last year's goals of daily reading and outdoor play

- Make time to play with my children more and involve them in my work more

(Ruthie and Gemma had their 2 and 4 year old checkups.  Gemma got her kindergarten shots and didn't even cry!)

(John got to see his PhD project live at our local Museum of Life and Science!)

(And there was lots of this kind of thing.  :))

You might think you could accomplish most of my year-long goals in a month, and you might be very right about that.  :)  However, I find that making small goals helps organize me with discouraging me.  

Here's to another year with my precious little family, and another year walking hand-in-hand with the Lord Jesus.  "The Lord knows how to order things better than I. The Lord sees further than I do; I only see things at present but the Lord sees a great while from now." --Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment

Breakfast Date with Mommy

We drove to New York to be with our families for Thanksgiving, and drove back on Sunday night through the night.  It seems to work best that way for now.  Gemma sleeps pretty well and we avoid all the traffic.  But, of course, by our arrival in the morning she's up and ready to go!  And since Daddy usually does all the driving, a Mommy who did get a bit of sleep tries to think of things to do . . . like getting out of the house for breakfast.  :)  This time we went to the Starbucks in Target for their oatmeal.

Oh, yes, it's yummy.  :)

"Can you smile for Mommy's camera?"

It's March . . .

It's March, which means one thing:

Go Duke!

Fall-ish Ramblings

It's autumn, and I'm so glad. We don't celebrate Halloween here; my reasoning can be reduced to 2 Corinthians 6:14 "What fellowship has light with darkness?"  I acknowledge that many Christians do not feel the need to offer up Halloween for the sake of Christ.  That's one of those things we all have to decide for ourselves, I suppose.  But we're content to buy discounted candy on the first of November and give Gemma other opportunities to play dress-up in the future.

We recently had the joy of visiting the Biltmore Estate with friends, and all the pictures in this post are from that day.  John took all except the one he is in, and got some neat shots if I do say so myself!  

The colors.  Ahhh.  We were privileged to get our first dose in New York where the colors peak earlier in the season, and now the trees on Cottage Lane are taking their turns at the melody in the beautiful symphony of autumn.  I love how, shortly after a rain when the sky is still grey, the yellows, greens and golds are especially vibrant against the dark, mossy trunks.  I have in my mind that very view layered upon a plum-colored house with evergreens in the background . . . Oh, I could almost inhale and respirate upon the beauty instead of on oxygen.

Then came my sister's birthday on the 7th, and now it is the 15th . . . where is the month going?  It was thrilling to be at Trader Joe's recently and to see all the autumn foods in stock.  There was even a man wandering the store and handing out chocolates!  I bought a bottle of cranberry spiced cider and remembered the joys of hosting our own Thanksgiving dinner last year.  The only reason we did not travel to be with family was that I was 39 weeks pregnant, but I loved hosting our own special meal . . . even though our friends brought half of it and the turkey wasn't done until 4 p.m. . . . how the memories rush back . . . We finished the evening by watching Harvey. 

This is the first November of our married life that I have not been pregnant.

Do you know that I once worked at a pumpkin farm?  It was the first autumn after I'd graduated from college, when I was taking evening grad school classes and waiting for the subbing calls to start coming.  They were days of layering on the rain clothes and carrying big clippers, and prying heavy, mud-laden boots off wool-socked feet in the farmers' house at lunch time.  Our boss's wife would make us hot dogs or grilled cheese and we would sit for that half-hour in their farmhouse dining room before returning to the fields or the pumpkin washing machine.  My coworkers called each other Hispanic names for fun, because we felt like migrant workers.  It was a brief season, but it was good.

Our pumpkin for the year is on my kitchen table.  It's another Cinderella pumpkin, and Mom and I bought it from a farm stand in New York.  I'm enjoying it a bit longer before cooking it, but I have bought canned pumpkin to make pumpkin muffins, crumble cake, and a pecan-eggnog-pumpkin pie in recent weeks.  I just couldn't wait.  :)

Now, with Thanksgiving upon us again, I want to actually write some "thankful" posts.  But we will start tomorrow, I think . . .

The Trail

There are lots of great places to walk in our little neighborhood. Recently, though, I felt stuck in a rut, so baby and I decided to venture a different direction. And, lo! Soon the road intersected with a paved (and thus perfect for strollers!) trail! Where did it go?

That morning, we took the trail one way, and it led us to another nearby road which we took home. The next day, we took a different piece of the trail.


The trail led into the woods, which made me so happy! The road noise having faded away, aside from the buzzing of the cicadas and the chirping of the birdies, all was still. "Birdies"--I'm such a mommy now!

I felt like we were home in the country again. We followed it further. And it ended up at . . .


. . . a playground! Then I was very happy indeed! What a wonderful thing for the future, if, Lord willing, we are still in this house. I can envision strollers and little bikes rolling down the trail for a morning outing, homeschool P.E. class consisting of a jog to the playground, and 12 year olds excited to be allowed to ride their bikes to the playground by themselves . . .

Thank you for the little things, our Father!

Yay for Garage Sales!

Garage sale-ing has been what my mom and I do together for years. No one else in the immediate family seems to like them as much as we do. When we were in New York recently, we went out once for a short time, but I still found some fun things!

This fun cast-iron piece, to match the loose bird theme in our living room,


and some new books for Gemma!

On Neighborhood Living

walking to the doctor's office!

From 1997 to 2009 I lived with my family in the country, excepting of course the months I was away at college. The fresh air, trees, sunshine, swamp, and seclusion warm my heart even to think about. I still consider myself as a true Greenfield-girl at heart. Still, I knew that I could be happy living anywhere with the right man someday. I had enough requirements for a husband, and where we were to live certainly was not one of them. ;-)

Now I find myself in suburbia. We're within walking distance from two different grocery stores, not to mention Starbucks, Hallmark, the dry cleaner's, a cheap haircut place, fast food. And now that I have a little one, I appreciate the walking distance even more. It's so much pleasanter and easier to walk someplace than to load the baby up in the carseat.

Today we walked to the pediatrician's office. Gemma is in the 90th percentile all around--height, weight, head circumference. Actually, the doctor said "90th-95th" for height. :-D

In my ideal world, there would also be a post office within walking distance. That's one place it's kind of a hassle to get to. And all the states between here and Greenfield would be swept to the side, so that we would only have a short drive to visit our parents.

Someday, after Jesus comes back, we will live in the new earth where everything will be ideal. My ideas about ideal are undoubtedly a bit off, but everything will be perfect nonetheless! Lord, hasten the day!

some giveaways are just too good not to blog about . . .

Like this one.

Mama B is giving away 3 BumGenius 4.0's, or as I've heard some say, "the Cadillac of cloth diapers."

So, you might want to negate any advantage I get in the drawing by blogging about this giveaway by putting in a few entries for yourself. ;-)

Where Gretchen's Been

Six and a half weeks ago, I made a stupid quick-decision and tumbled off John's mountain bike, breaking my left elbow and a bone in my right hand. When the orthopedist in the ER told me that I wouldn't be allowed to lift more than a coffee cup in either hand for six weeks, I cried.

John had ridden half of the trip, I met him in the car with the baby, and we switched places. Before we set out, I saw John start to pedal away, then turn back and get his helmet. And when I fell, I hit my head on the asphalt trail. We are very thankful that John had that helmet to pass off to me! In fact, there are many little things like this that we are grateful for, such as these:
- I had just bought a new package of disposable diapers for Sundays and we were stocked on groceries, so we were set for a while!
- I was supposed to make dessert for a luncheon on Monday, and I had already done it on Friday night!
- I had cut John's hair the weekend before instead of putting it off!
- We had taught Gemma how to drink from a bottle several weeks before. Apparently for some babies, this is really a struggle!
- I responded well to the pump we bought and maintained a plentiful supply of milk for her.
- She's generally an easy and adaptable baby.

In spite of these blessings, there were many, many times when I wished I could just rewind time and not hit the brakes on that bicycle so hard! Suddenly I was no longer the blissful baby-wearing mom I loved that I'd become. Apron, nursing, cloth diapering and Moby wrap were all put on the shelf for six weeks. I felt like I wasn't able to do what I was supposed to be doing. Through it all, I learned the hard lesson that I am not in control of my life. It took consciously reminding myself that God IS in control and He purposed for this to happen to keep me, honestly, from crying all the time.

We were also blessed and greatly encouraged by John's mom and my mom, who each gave up a few weeks to come take care of us. I'm thankful that Gemma had so much Grandma bonding time. John's mom was the voice of reason when I feared that Gemma would never want to nurse again, because she had been through something similar, and baby Johnny DID return to nursing! And, of course, there's nothing like having one's own mother around, especially when she's probably one of my best friends after John.

So, that is where I've been. Here. In a sling and a cast. Now I'm doing exercises to strengthen my hand and back to holding and nursing and wearing and cloth-diapering my sweet baby . . .

God is good.

28 Weeks!

Already?!  

Blogging has been low on the to-do list for several reasons lately.  Partly, we've been away (more on Leah's wedding tomorrow, perhaps!), and partly electronic things around here have changed lately.  After doing some research, John decided to sell his Tivo, give away his old DVD player and buy a different one off e-bay which can connect to the internet.  We canceled the cable and have subscribed to Hulu Plus (as well as a month-long trial of Netflix).  Added to that, we canceled Road Runner and have subscribed to Clear Wire.  

With the hardware shifting alone, I think we've come out on top financially, but our monthly internet and TV bills will now also be mere fractions of what they were before.  Mere small fractions.  

As a girl who didn't even know what a Tivo was until I started dating John, this is all great with me.  We haven't watched much TV lately, anyway.  And the new internet system seems to be working just fine for John.  Somehow, though, the upstairs internet is still sporadically insanely slow, as in, it can take me half an hour or more to load a page.  I'm sure we'll get it worked out eventually.  Until then, I'm spending a bit less time on it and doing more reading from my iphone . . . yet another thing I'd never heard of before I started dating John.  :-)

Memories

by a lion at Bryan on Saturday

A wedding of friends on Saturday took us back to Dayton, TN, and since we had left freakishly early (3 a.m.), we got in with plenty of time to eat a leisurely breakfast at Cracker Barrel and stroll the campus of Bryan College, for old time's sake.  

The Southeastern Family Conference, hosted by our church down here and held at Bryan College in TN was the highlight of our summer, maybe even year, for years while I was growing up.  There were just a few families from our church in NY who usually traveled all the way to TN each year; mine was one of them and John's was one of them.  At the time, he and I meant nothing to each other (at least as far as John's knew ;-) ), but now we have many common memories to share and love. 

I remember my Dad remarking on how he'd never spent so much money on a vacation before.  Many average-looking dads similarly stood in line at registration every year and wrote out checks for several hundred dollars, to stay in college dorms and share common bathrooms and listen to three preaching sessions a day for an entire week.  In a sleepy little town in Tennessee in the middle of the hot summer.  Someone who'd never been could easily have called us crazy.

But, for a dad who spent every long week day among non-Christians, worshiping among 600 like-minded Christians every day for a whole week was like a little taste of heaven.  It was true for me, also, as a home-schooled girl without very many friends and later as a public school student.  Our church in NY is small by most people's standards, and even just singing with that many people was an experience.  

Then, one year, we had to miss the conference because it conflicted with my sister's final exams.  After that, money was a bit tighter since Mom and Dad were helping me to pay for college.  It turns out that many other families must have had stories like ours, because in the next couple of years, the attendance dwindled, and eventually the conferences were stopped, as you may already know.

The family conference always used to be during the first week in July, so it was especially neat that the wedding brought us back right during what used to be conference time.  Neater still, it was at the conference thirteen years ago (July 2, 1997) when I was finally humbled to the point of desperation.  After years of asking God for salvation, I didn't know if I was already saved or not--all I knew was that I needed to trust Christ now.  I remember going to sleep that night with a sigh of peace, and He has always been faithful to me since.  

Thirteen years ago.  That means that I've now been a Christian for half my life.  It's a sobering thought; my knee-jerk reaction is to ask what do I have to show for myself?  I know that it's not me, but hopefully the Spirit working within me, but can I trace His on-going sanctifying work, or am I stuck in a rut?  Am I as mature as a spiritual 13 year old?

Franz Rises Again

It wasn't actually dead, just sitting untouched in the office for a while.  Franz is my Grove City Compaq, eight years old now, and I've been using John's work computer (which is here, since he's a telecommuter). 

Maybe a week ago, John decided that it was time we got all my files transferred off it.  Maybe we'd sell it for parts.  That was fine with me.  Franz was an excellent computer in its day and never once crashed during my college years.  We'd spent many long hours writing papers together, but it had gotten pretty slow and had a battery life of about 30 seconds (just enough to push the boot button and then quickly plug it in). 

But after fiddling with Franz a bit, John changed his tune.  He ordered a new battery online!  He taught it to understand wireless, so all I have to do is plug in the wireless USB thing we have and, voila, internet!  Perhaps we'll have many more years together . . . just thankfully no more papers.  :-)

On Hotdogs

Yummy nitrates.  Perhaps I can say that kind of flippantly because I don't really know what nitrates are; I've just heard that they're in hotdogs and they're bad for you.  Because of this fact, I have yet to buy a package of hotdogs as a wife in charge of grocery shopping. 

A couple of weeks ago, I somberly nodded in agreement when my dad-in-law declared, "Junk food is like rap music and pornography.  It robs a man of his ability to enjoy the real thing." 

And yet, when my mom and I walked into Stewarts a couple of weeks ago, I was nearly awash with emotion.  I'd forgotten how much I love Stewarts in the several months John and I had been away from it in the South.  Mom and I used to have a happy, occasional tradition of stopping at a Stewarts for hotdogs and milkshakes.  I revelled once again in the small-town, common-man, local-business feel and decided to get a hotdog, piling it with sauerkraut and the red relish I've never seen anywhere else.  It was delightful. 

Truth be told, when Saturday came, we all had hotdogs again.  After a day of garage-saling, gardening, and just generally being outdoors, an easy dinner seemed best.  Mom boiled up some pasta for pesto and Dad fired up the grill.  My parents buy Hebrew National hotdogs, which are delicious, and our supper was simple and perfect.

Then Mom started saying what I was already thinking.  "Grandpa Smith loved hotdogs.  He called them tube-steak.  And look how long he lived."  My grandpa was a remarkable man.  When he was diagnosed with Type I diabetes as an adult, people said that he wouldn't live past 50.  He lived to 86, and spent every day of his life outdoors.  And he ate stuff like hotdogs and candy bars a lot. 

I credit his health to all his exercise and God's blessing.  Lives like his help me to keep things in perspective.  And, undoubtedly in preparation for Memorial Day, my in-laws have a stash of Hebrew Nationals in their refrigerator door at this very minute! 

I Don't Always Finish Projects On Time

This is Gonzo.  He's my version of Gonzo, anyway.  :-)  My brother and sister and I all love the Muppets, and Gonzo is Heidi's favorite.  Mom has a puppet pattern, so, years ago, I started making this little guy as a Christmas present for Heidi.  Many hours later, post-Christmas, I finally got his body done . . . then pants . . . then found little baby sneakers for him at a garage sale . . .

But he sat in her closet, shirt-less, for the last couple of years. 

He's finally clothed!  I knit up a little sweater-vest this winter with some leftover yarn.  I found a basic pattern for an American Girl doll sweater online (but I don't remember where) and just added some length.  It has a 3/4 opening in the back with a snap-closure, and I'm so glad it fits!  Gonzo is finally complete!  :-)

We Have Goslings!

On Friday, I was cleaning up the breakfast dishes and noticed Richard and Sharon in the neighbor's yard.  Richard and Sharon are the goose-couple who are usually around.  

They were both sitting near a little pile . . . of goslings!  Darling things.  They all seemed to be piled up, taking a nap.  I called out to John, "We have goslings!"  And soon he called back from the living room, "I see!"

How could he see?  The living room windows face the back of the house, and the kitchen windows the side.  I joined him in the living room to discover another goose family with about ten slightly bigger goslings waddling about the yard!

Soon they moved to the side yard, visible from the kitchen, and I got my camera.

W

Apparently, there have been two goose-couples the whole time.  Will the real Richard and Sharon please identify themselves?  :-)

Gretchen Waxes Controversial, part 2

As our wedding date approached and my frustration with finding an ethical form of birth control abounded, I submitted a question to ylcf.org.  I had a feeling that some of the contributors there would be like-minded, and I asked specifically if they knew of any hormonal birth control options which only prevented ovulation.

One of the girls, who is also a newlywed, sent me a very long personal e-mail in reply!  She didn't know of any ethical hormonal options, either, but she told me some more about NFP and another method I'd never heard of called the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). 

From that info session back in college, I knew the basic premise of NFP.  A healthy woman ovulates once a month, so she is only fertile for a limited number of days.  A married couple seeking to avoid pregnancy would simply abstain from intimacy during those days.  But I wasn't sure if this was the best idea.  1 Corinthians 7 talks about a husband and wife giving to each other freely.  Would my husband really go for that much abstinence?  And what if our honeymoon was a fertile time?  I'd also dismissed NFP in my mind because I assumed that it was the same as the "rhythm method," about which I'd always heard "it doesn't work." 

FAM, I learned, is sort of a hybrid between NFP and using a barrier to prevent pregnancy.  I don't know why I'd hardly heard of our thought of barriers before.  True, they are not as convenient as a pill and have somewhat statistically lower success rates in preventing pregnancy.  But it seems like barriers are under-rated.  There are several options out there, and with FAM, you don't even need to use them all the time.  You just use them during your fertile times. 

In that revelationary and revolutionary e-mail, I learned about a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler.  I got my own copy almost for free on paperbackswap.com.  While the rhythm method assumes that all women have perfect 28-day cycles, Weschler discusses in detail how to use NFP or FAM effectively by charting your own fertility signs.  Her book definitely isn't written from a Christian perspective, but it's an indispensible guide to either method.  Her book also discusses in depth how to use charting to help achieve pregnancy. 

I believe that recent studies have shown links between the use of hormonal birth control and increased health risks to women.  I haven't researched these studies very much, but because of them I'm especially thankful to have learned about FAM.  Ylcf.org now has a more detailed explanation of the two methods on its "married" blog.  And if anyone is interested in learning about some good online charting sites or other resources, I'd be happy to share them with you personally.  

Many of you know that John and I decided mid-October that we would like to have a baby if the Lord blessed us with one.  And He did, right away, but then He saw fit to allow us to lose that baby in mid-December.  I still miss that little one a lot, and I bring him up again to let you know that we didn't get pregnant because FAM failed.  In fact, I now know of women who have used FAM or NFP to successfully avoid pregnancy for a number of years, and then achieved a pregnancy shortly thereafter.  We know that God hasn't failed us, either, and we're learning to love Him and trust Him more, I hope, every day.

Gretchen Waxes Controversial

Today's topic is rather personal, but what I've learned about it in the past year or so is just too good not to share. It's the topic of family planning.

I know that there are many varieties of views on this subject. John and I both see family planning as consistent with the stewardship which mankind has been given by God over the earth. Left to itself, a man's hair will grow very long, but hardly any Christian will say that a man shouldn't cut his hair because long hair is "natural" and God causes it to grow. That's a silly example, but illustrates our basic understanding of stewardship in family planning, as well.

John and I both love and hope to have children. We've observed families who have been surprised with multiple, unanticipated sets of twins and families who have not been able to have their own children for years, so we recognize that, ultimately, the size of one's family is in God's hands and not ours. Still, we recognize a family's responsibility to use wisdom in all matters, including family planning. When we were engaged, we agreed that it would be wise to wait a little while before trying to have children.

During my senior year of college, I had randomly gone to an info session on "Natural Family Planning." I was having an easy semester, so I had some flexibility for things like that, and it sounded interesting. The session was led by a Catholic couple, and they provided information for engaged couples about classes in Natural Family Planning (NFP). One thing that I remember hearing was that birth control pills could cause abortions. Apparently, one function of "the pill" was to thin the uterine lining to prevent a fertilized egg from implanting and developing further. That gave me some pause, but I filed away what I'd heard for some time in the future.

A few months before our wedding, I visited that dreaded lady doctor and told her I was interested in birth control. She fetched me a sample pack of pills, no questions asked. But when I asked her if these particular pills thinned the uterine lining to prevent implantation, she paused. She read the package information. She clearly knew where I was going mentally, affirmed that, unfortunately, they did, and suggested that I go home and think about it before taking them.

Now, I understand that the primary function of hormonal birth control is to prevent ovulation. If there's no egg, there can be no baby. But since hardly any drug performs perfectly every time, the manufacturers of this pill had added a drug with the secondary function I already described. Doubtless, most of the time this pill was effective in preventing ovulation, but just in case an egg did get through and got fertilized, the secondary function would ensure that it wouldn't be able to continue to develop as a baby. In other words, there was a slim chance of undetected abortion.

I found this to be incredibly frustrating. Why couldn't birth control pills simply prevent ovulation? If there were such a pill that did, I was going to find it. I began researching drug after drug online. Sometimes all I read about a drug was that it prevented ovulation, but when I dug a little further, I always found that it also thinned the uterine lining to prevent implantation. I used drugs.com a lot and at some point stumbled on http://krohse.com/index.html, which is a website from a Christian perspective. Some pill marketers claim that they do not terminate pregnancies, but what I discovered was that they often define the beginning of pregnancy as the point at which a fertilized egg implants into the uterine lining. If such pills prevent this from happening to start with, then of course it is impossible for them to harm a developing baby after that point. But I believe that life starts as soon as that little egg and little sperm meet.

To be continued . . .

Oh, Priorities

I've been thinking about this little notepad this week.  The dear church I attended while I was in college always had a ladies' retreat in March, and one year the topic was Elizabeth George's book A Woman After God's Own Heart.  She argues from Scripture that a married woman's priorities are in the order listed above.  I learned a lot, and we all received these little notepads as reminders.  It all seemed so clear and simple.

This week has been the kind of week where I've spent most of my time on the last two items, ministry and self.  It's my week to tutor a ninth grader recovering from surgery on MWF, and since it's the first week of the month, we had our international student luncheon on Monday and ladies' Bible study on Tuesday.  And since this week includes the second Friday of the month, there's Mom's Coffee Connection, where I usually help babysit the kids so the moms can get edified.  On top of that, I've got a nasty cold or allergies or something, leading my sweet husband to let me get some extra sleep.  I've hardly cooked all week and haven't touched my usual house-cleaning.

Maybe all of this doesn't sound like much.  I don't have little kids to run around after or a full-time job.  And all these things rarely fall within the same week!  I'm quite thankful that John and I decided that I wouldn't teach full-time, at least during the first year of marriage.  It's a sweet time in life for us and not as hectic as teaching used to be.  But I do have a wider range of responsibilities now.  Do any of you readers find yourselves hemming and hawing when people ask, sweetly or judgmentally, "So, what do you do with your time?"  

As noble and exciting as ministry can be (and look to others), methinks things have been bit out of whack this week.  So, hit me over the head with that notepad again, please.

Spring in the Window

The fresh air makes me so joyful, especially when it's warm and friendly like it has been lately! 

The Magnolia and Redbud trees are blooming.  We don't have any near our house (that I've discovered!), but we've driven by lots of them, so beautiful.

 

I love herbs and blooms and spring!!