Planning Our Wedding - Ceremony Accessories

One great bit of advice we received at some point was that you can get regular 40% off (and occasionally 50% off) coupons for AC Moore, Michael's and Joann's.  They are each valid for one regularly-priced item per visit.  All you have to do is sign up for their mailing lists, which I did on their websites.  AC Moore will actually e-mail you links to printable coupons every week.  You can only use one per customer per visit , but the great thing is that you can print as many as you want.  Sometimes my mom and I would each carry a coupon into the store and buy items with separate transactions, and sometimes I would keep printing coupons and visit a store more than once a week. 

Another great thing we learned is that the stores will accept each others' coupons, but only sale-flier coupons.  So, I regularly received e-mail coupons from AC Moore and sale-flier coupons in the mail from Joann's and used the Joann's coupons either for Joann's or Michael's.  It worked great.  :-)

These craft stores all have ceremony accessories like guest books, flower girl baskets, ring-bearer pillows, and unity candles in different styles.  They're all pretty, but for what they are, I think they are definitely over-priced.  Still, if that's what you're going for, I would definitely buy them at a craft store with coupons. 

At the end of the day, I did not end up using any of their accessories. We were planning on having five flower girls, and even with coupons, five of those little polyester-satin baskets would have been kind of expensive.  And our wedding wasn't going to have shiny satin and tulle; I was going for a different feel.  Instead, my mom and I found five little wicker baskets at the Christmas Tree Shop in Albany for only a dollar or two apiece, and I covered over the handles with some grosgrain ribbon and hot glue.  They still looked a little plain, so I glued on some dried lavender sprigs, but not all of them withstood the playing of little girls.  :-)    Still, I was quite happy with the overall effect. 

Instead of a pillow for the ring-bearer, I wanted to use a box, partly because I really wanted little John to actually carry the rings.  I'm not into pretending.  And he did!!  We used a little wooden box which my grandparents gave me years ago, and my John cut some of the velvet from the box the rings came in to fit inside.  Our little ring-bearer was just adorable, especially at the rehearsal where he cupped his hands the whole way up the aisle, carrying a pretend box.  :-) 

Neither John nor I was particularly attached to the idea of unity candles, so we skipped that entirely.  And for a guest book, I chose a little leather journal which my sister gave me a few years ago.  I don't think people minded.  On ceremony accessories, we most definitely saved money. 

Have I Found It So?

A man that hath that experimental knowledge that accompanies salvation, will from his experience tell you 

that sin is the greatest evil in the world, for he hath found it so,                           
that Christ is the one thing necessary, for he hath found Him so,                          
that the favour of God is better than life, for he hath found it so,                         
that pardoning mercy alone makes a man happy, for he hath found it so,           
that a wounded spirit is such a burden that none can bear, for he hath found it so,
that an humble and a broken heart is an acceptable sacrifice to God, for he hath found it so,                                                                                                                                             
that the promises are precious pearls, for he hath found them so,                         
that the smiles of God will make up for the absence of any outward mercy, for he hath found it so,                                                                                                                            
that communion with God can alone make a heaven in a believer's heart, for he hath found it so,                                                                                                                            
that if the Spirit be pleased and obeyed, he will be a comforter to the soul, for he hath found it so,                                                                                                                            
but if his motions and laws be slighted and neglected, he will stand far off from the soul, he will vex and gall the soul,                                                                           


Well!  souls, remember this, that knowledge that is not experimental will never turn to your account, it will only increase your guilt and torment, as it did the scribes' and Pharisees' . . . It was not Adam's seeing, but his tasting, of forbidden fruit that made him miserable; and it is not your seeing of Christ, but your experimental tasting of Christ, that will make you truly happy.  As no knowledge will save but what is experimental, so let no knowledge satisfy you but what is experimental,  Psalm 34:8.

Romans 7, Psalm 27:4, Psalm 63:3, Psalm 32:1,2, Proverbs 18:14, Psalm 51:17, 2 Peter 1:4, Psalm 5:6,7, Psalm 48:10, John 16:7,Lamentations 1:16, Isaiah 63:10,11


Thomas Brooks, Heaven on Earth, p. 182-183

Planning Our Wedding, part 1

Last year at this time, we were in the thick of wedding-planning.  I've thought for a while about doing a series on wedding-planning, partly to help me remember that busy, happy time, and partly for anyone interested.  Maybe someone else can glean some ideas, or at least benefit from our experience! 

To begin, from the beginning of our engagement, we were sure of a few things.  We would get married in Ballston Lake at the church we both grew up in, by our pastor.  We were hoping for an outdoor reception somewhere, and we wanted to invite everybody.  Even if it meant eating on paper plates, I wanted to serve a full hot meal.  I also wanted to have that meal catered so that all our friends and family could relax and enjoy the day. 

I had lots of visions for details, as well.  Our engagement was 9.5 months long out of practicality; I needed to finish the school year before moving 700 miles away, and John's brother was getting married the same spring, so we needed to put a little space between the weddings.  Though it seemed like a long time at the outset, we needed all those months!   One thing we learned was how helpful it was to have my mom not working during the day at this time.  If we hadn't had someone working on the wedding full-time toward the end, we simply could not have pulled it off.  So, I'd tell a working bride-to-be that she needs someone else helping to plan her wedding full-time.  If there is no one available, she might need to decide to have a simple wedding or to hire a wedding planner, if possible.

At the end of the day, to my disappointment, we couldn't invite quite everyone.  The limiting factor was the size of the sanctuary, so we made rough "A" and "B" lists, hoping that only about 200 of the A list would come, and secretly hoping that we could send out late invitations to the others.

Thanks to living at home for the past couple of years, I'd saved enough of my teacher's salary to give us a decent wedding budget, though John paid for a few things himself and my parents helped us out some, too.  I used a wedding planning budget template for Excel as well as recommendations from theknot.com as a financial guide, and both were helpful.  The knot has a tool which will take your overall budget, the number in your wedding party and the expected number of guests and calculated about how much you should spend on everything. 

Instead of buying a pretty wedding planning book like they sell at Barnes & Noble, my mom and I checked books out of the library and made our own planning binder, using a time line one of the books recommended.  We got a lot of fun ideas from those books, as well, though we didn't use many!  There were ways that we definitely saved money and other ways that we splurged.  I'm looking forward to reminiscing about it all as I share some more in the weeks ahead!

We Have Goslings!

On Friday, I was cleaning up the breakfast dishes and noticed Richard and Sharon in the neighbor's yard.  Richard and Sharon are the goose-couple who are usually around.  

They were both sitting near a little pile . . . of goslings!  Darling things.  They all seemed to be piled up, taking a nap.  I called out to John, "We have goslings!"  And soon he called back from the living room, "I see!"

How could he see?  The living room windows face the back of the house, and the kitchen windows the side.  I joined him in the living room to discover another goose family with about ten slightly bigger goslings waddling about the yard!

Soon they moved to the side yard, visible from the kitchen, and I got my camera.

W

Apparently, there have been two goose-couples the whole time.  Will the real Richard and Sharon please identify themselves?  :-)

Gretchen Waxes Controversial, part 2

As our wedding date approached and my frustration with finding an ethical form of birth control abounded, I submitted a question to ylcf.org.  I had a feeling that some of the contributors there would be like-minded, and I asked specifically if they knew of any hormonal birth control options which only prevented ovulation.

One of the girls, who is also a newlywed, sent me a very long personal e-mail in reply!  She didn't know of any ethical hormonal options, either, but she told me some more about NFP and another method I'd never heard of called the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). 

From that info session back in college, I knew the basic premise of NFP.  A healthy woman ovulates once a month, so she is only fertile for a limited number of days.  A married couple seeking to avoid pregnancy would simply abstain from intimacy during those days.  But I wasn't sure if this was the best idea.  1 Corinthians 7 talks about a husband and wife giving to each other freely.  Would my husband really go for that much abstinence?  And what if our honeymoon was a fertile time?  I'd also dismissed NFP in my mind because I assumed that it was the same as the "rhythm method," about which I'd always heard "it doesn't work." 

FAM, I learned, is sort of a hybrid between NFP and using a barrier to prevent pregnancy.  I don't know why I'd hardly heard of our thought of barriers before.  True, they are not as convenient as a pill and have somewhat statistically lower success rates in preventing pregnancy.  But it seems like barriers are under-rated.  There are several options out there, and with FAM, you don't even need to use them all the time.  You just use them during your fertile times. 

In that revelationary and revolutionary e-mail, I learned about a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler.  I got my own copy almost for free on paperbackswap.com.  While the rhythm method assumes that all women have perfect 28-day cycles, Weschler discusses in detail how to use NFP or FAM effectively by charting your own fertility signs.  Her book definitely isn't written from a Christian perspective, but it's an indispensible guide to either method.  Her book also discusses in depth how to use charting to help achieve pregnancy. 

I believe that recent studies have shown links between the use of hormonal birth control and increased health risks to women.  I haven't researched these studies very much, but because of them I'm especially thankful to have learned about FAM.  Ylcf.org now has a more detailed explanation of the two methods on its "married" blog.  And if anyone is interested in learning about some good online charting sites or other resources, I'd be happy to share them with you personally.  

Many of you know that John and I decided mid-October that we would like to have a baby if the Lord blessed us with one.  And He did, right away, but then He saw fit to allow us to lose that baby in mid-December.  I still miss that little one a lot, and I bring him up again to let you know that we didn't get pregnant because FAM failed.  In fact, I now know of women who have used FAM or NFP to successfully avoid pregnancy for a number of years, and then achieved a pregnancy shortly thereafter.  We know that God hasn't failed us, either, and we're learning to love Him and trust Him more, I hope, every day.

Gretchen Waxes Controversial

Today's topic is rather personal, but what I've learned about it in the past year or so is just too good not to share. It's the topic of family planning.

I know that there are many varieties of views on this subject. John and I both see family planning as consistent with the stewardship which mankind has been given by God over the earth. Left to itself, a man's hair will grow very long, but hardly any Christian will say that a man shouldn't cut his hair because long hair is "natural" and God causes it to grow. That's a silly example, but illustrates our basic understanding of stewardship in family planning, as well.

John and I both love and hope to have children. We've observed families who have been surprised with multiple, unanticipated sets of twins and families who have not been able to have their own children for years, so we recognize that, ultimately, the size of one's family is in God's hands and not ours. Still, we recognize a family's responsibility to use wisdom in all matters, including family planning. When we were engaged, we agreed that it would be wise to wait a little while before trying to have children.

During my senior year of college, I had randomly gone to an info session on "Natural Family Planning." I was having an easy semester, so I had some flexibility for things like that, and it sounded interesting. The session was led by a Catholic couple, and they provided information for engaged couples about classes in Natural Family Planning (NFP). One thing that I remember hearing was that birth control pills could cause abortions. Apparently, one function of "the pill" was to thin the uterine lining to prevent a fertilized egg from implanting and developing further. That gave me some pause, but I filed away what I'd heard for some time in the future.

A few months before our wedding, I visited that dreaded lady doctor and told her I was interested in birth control. She fetched me a sample pack of pills, no questions asked. But when I asked her if these particular pills thinned the uterine lining to prevent implantation, she paused. She read the package information. She clearly knew where I was going mentally, affirmed that, unfortunately, they did, and suggested that I go home and think about it before taking them.

Now, I understand that the primary function of hormonal birth control is to prevent ovulation. If there's no egg, there can be no baby. But since hardly any drug performs perfectly every time, the manufacturers of this pill had added a drug with the secondary function I already described. Doubtless, most of the time this pill was effective in preventing ovulation, but just in case an egg did get through and got fertilized, the secondary function would ensure that it wouldn't be able to continue to develop as a baby. In other words, there was a slim chance of undetected abortion.

I found this to be incredibly frustrating. Why couldn't birth control pills simply prevent ovulation? If there were such a pill that did, I was going to find it. I began researching drug after drug online. Sometimes all I read about a drug was that it prevented ovulation, but when I dug a little further, I always found that it also thinned the uterine lining to prevent implantation. I used drugs.com a lot and at some point stumbled on http://krohse.com/index.html, which is a website from a Christian perspective. Some pill marketers claim that they do not terminate pregnancies, but what I discovered was that they often define the beginning of pregnancy as the point at which a fertilized egg implants into the uterine lining. If such pills prevent this from happening to start with, then of course it is impossible for them to harm a developing baby after that point. But I believe that life starts as soon as that little egg and little sperm meet.

To be continued . . .

Our "Garden" Is Growing

Hopefully in another week or two, we'll be thinning and eating our baby lettuce greens!

This tomato is doing the best of the three, though I'm not sure why.  It already has a blossom!

The cilantro is growing beautifully, but something ate the parsley clean off.  

I moved them inside for now, but it may be hopeless for the parsley.

P.S.  I just put up a poll for our bedroom paint color!  I'd love to hear what you think.

Master Bedroom Vacillations

 Our bedroom before John moved in

There hasn't been much house progress lately, but there has been some thinking.  For months I was determined eventually to paint our bedroom deep red.  Many of our little decorative items in that room are red or have red in them, and it just seemed romantic.  I envisioned perhaps some white neo-classical crown moulding to smooth the transition between ceiling and walls and lend to the overall majestic, romantic feel.

But I am absolutely sure now that, Lord willing, we will paint the bathroom off our bedroom in a soft lavender.  If you were at our wedding, you probably picked up on my love for the herb itself, and the bathroom is our designated lavender room.  We've even bought the paint.  :-)

The problem is that I don't think lavender and red go together.  I picked up another paint chip which suggested that a soft plum and a soft green would look well together, so perhaps we should go with green?  I do love green. 

the room from another angle

 Then I thought of yellow and blue.  Our room in Rome on our honeymoon was pale yellow with blue accents, so those colors have some sentimental value.  They would also go beautifully with the spread my dear friend Pamela brought us back from India.

Any thoughts? 

On Hymns

Last Saturday night, John unwittingly ministered to me by playing hymns.  I think it's neat that he knows how to play the piano to start with, and when he sits down at the keyboard occasionally I feel full of happy pride for him. 

I've mentioned before how much I appreciate some of the newly written hymns, by people like the Gettys.  But I think that when I'm tending toward discouragement it's the old, old hymns which speak to my soul the most.  Those were what John was playing on Saturday night.  We grew up together singing them, and it seems like we haven't sung some of them for a long time.

Maybe some of the lyrics are antiquated and maybe some of the tunes are awkward and difficult to sing.  But maybe we just need to use our minds a little bit more, to expand our vocabularies and to exercise our musical muscles.  Those hymn-writers and tune-writers alike spent much, much time writing and arranging what they wrote, and I think that we'll be guilty of some serious chronological snobbery if we gloss over the vast spiritual resources they've handed down to us.  Let's not merely pause on a few of our favorites and attempt to reword and rewrite the tunes of others just because they are hard.  And certainly let us not ignore the treasures that we have entirely in favor of what has been more recently written. 

Last night, Hymns Triumphant playing on the ipod (which I never thought I'd use!) encouraged my heart while I was cooking.  And on Wednesday, we sung a few old and very good hymns at the opening of prayer meeting which did the same. 

And since He bids me seek his face,
Believe His Word, and trust His grace,
I'll cast on Him my ev'ry care,
And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer.
 (William W. Walford, c. 1842)

There's nothing like a good hymn.

I Love Smoothies

There must be a thousand different ways to make a smoothie, and I just came up with my own.  :-)  A week or two ago, the bananas on the counter were getting too brown for beauty, so I popped them in the freezer.  Feeling in a smoothie mood a few days later, I left one out on the counter until it was just soft enough to peel, peeled it, cut it in a couple large chunks and tossed it in the blender.  I added a small handful of frozen blueberries--though I later used fresh strawberries which turned out even yummier!  I poured in just enough milk so that it would blend, and ended up adding a little to make it smoothie-consistency.

I really liked how well this came out with such simple ingredients.  No yogurt necessary, certainly no added sugar, and the frozen banana gave it its needed iciness.  And it filled up a really big glass.  Yummm!

Living Room Before and After

The living room is, for the present, done.  It does need a new coat of paint, but that can happen later.  For now, all the decorating is in place. 

The "before" pictures are all from John's tour of the house.  A lot of it looks the same, since it's the same furniture and hasn't been painted!  But I hope you enjoy browsing, anyway.

View from the balcony upstairs, before.  Note the big vase of grass on the mantel.

 . . . and after.  Hmm, not a very good shot.

before

 . . . and after.  There's a husband in the room now.  :-) 

[I asked John if he wanted his feet to be down for the picture, but he didn't mind.]

Shot of the couch and the mirror, before.

 . . . and after

 back to the steps and a view of the balcony, before

 . . . and after.  Not so very different.

A few more pictures to close with:

In the interim, while John was living in the house before we were married, his TV was mounted above the fireplace.

And the DVD player, DVD's, etc. were all stacked on top of this cabinet.  John made it a project to move the TV and install an outlet and all the electronics in the cupboards, and I like it so much better!

Spring is Growing Up

Spring is maturing, and with her the sweet early signs of her coming.  The white trees have gradually laid aside their maiden blossoms and taken up new leaves.  New bushes around the house are budding and blossoming.

First Gardening Attempts

I haven't always been a huge fan of gardening, but the prospect of cheap, fresh, backyard vegetables is just too hard to argue with!  So, we're starting with baby steps.  We're starting with pots.  Providentially, the previous owners of the house left a whole lot of big pots behind!

So far we have lettuce sprouting from seed,

and some tomatoes I just put in, 

and cilantro and parsley, which I'm trying again after the first ones died.

Oh, Priorities

I've been thinking about this little notepad this week.  The dear church I attended while I was in college always had a ladies' retreat in March, and one year the topic was Elizabeth George's book A Woman After God's Own Heart.  She argues from Scripture that a married woman's priorities are in the order listed above.  I learned a lot, and we all received these little notepads as reminders.  It all seemed so clear and simple.

This week has been the kind of week where I've spent most of my time on the last two items, ministry and self.  It's my week to tutor a ninth grader recovering from surgery on MWF, and since it's the first week of the month, we had our international student luncheon on Monday and ladies' Bible study on Tuesday.  And since this week includes the second Friday of the month, there's Mom's Coffee Connection, where I usually help babysit the kids so the moms can get edified.  On top of that, I've got a nasty cold or allergies or something, leading my sweet husband to let me get some extra sleep.  I've hardly cooked all week and haven't touched my usual house-cleaning.

Maybe all of this doesn't sound like much.  I don't have little kids to run around after or a full-time job.  And all these things rarely fall within the same week!  I'm quite thankful that John and I decided that I wouldn't teach full-time, at least during the first year of marriage.  It's a sweet time in life for us and not as hectic as teaching used to be.  But I do have a wider range of responsibilities now.  Do any of you readers find yourselves hemming and hawing when people ask, sweetly or judgmentally, "So, what do you do with your time?"  

As noble and exciting as ministry can be (and look to others), methinks things have been bit out of whack this week.  So, hit me over the head with that notepad again, please.

Blueberry-Lemon Bread Pudding

Bread pudding.  It's so delightfully English, isn't it?  Thanks to the lemon and blueberries, this version has a delicate flavor which is just right for spring.  It comes from Southern Living's 2001 Annual Recipes book.  I love it.

Bread Pudding

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups sugar

4 large eggs

2 cups whipping cream [I used half and half]

1 tablespoon grated lemon rind

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 (16-ounce) loaf stale French bread, cut into 2-inch cubes

1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

Method:

Beat sugar and eggs at medium speed with an electric mixer until fluffy.  Add whipping cream and next 4 ingredients, beating until blended.  Fold in bread cubes and blueberries, and pour into a lightly greased 13- x 9- inch pan.  Let stand 10 minutes [or longer].

Bake at 375F for 40 to 45 minutes.  Cool in pan on a wire rack 5 minutes.  Serve with Blueberry-Lemon Sauce and, if desired, whipped cream.  Yield:  8 servings

Blueberry-Lemon Sauce

Ingredients:

1 teaspoon grated lemon rind

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice

1/2 cup sugar

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries

Method:

Bring first four ingredients to a boil in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly.  Reduce heat; add blueberries and simmer, stirring constantly, 3-5 minutes or until thickened.  Yield:  1 1/2 cups.

A Choice

Invictus

William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

 

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

 

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate;

I am the captain of my soul.

My Captain

Dorothea Day

Out of the night that dazzles me,

Bright as the sun from pole to pole,

I thank the God I know to be

For Christ the conqueror of my soul.

 

Since His the sway of circumstance,

I would not wince nor cry aloud.

Under that rule which men call chance

My head with joy is humbly bowed.

 

Beyond this place of sin and tears

That life with Him! And His the aid,

Despite the menace of the years,

Keeps, and shall keep me, unafraid.

I have no fear, though strait the gate,

He cleared from punishment the scroll.

Christ is the Master of my fate,

Christ is the Captain of my soul.

It is one or the other.  Either you are your own captain, sharing in all the dark sentiments of the author, or you are Christ's and He fights for you a fight of victory.  Which shall it be?

If that isn't argument enough, the first poem represented Timothy McVeigh's final sentiments.  He represents some of what the human soul is capable of, unchecked.

Blessed be Christ, who has delivered us, by His own victorious death and resurrection, from all the corruption to which we natively tend!

poem source 

Happy April Fool's Day!

"Like a madman who throws Firebrands, arrows and death, So is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, 'Was I not joking ?'"  Proverbs 26:18-19

I don't believe in using today as an excuse for lying, not at all.  But I do like practical jokes!

Here's our favorite waffle recipe (not a joke!).  I got it from my my mom, who got it from my great-aunt, who might have made it up.  It's sooo easy and makes many light, fluffy waffles.  I halve the batch for John and me, and it halves very easily!

Our Favorite Waffle Recipe

Ingredients:

2 cups buttermilk or sour milk (I use regular milk with just a little apple cider vinegar)

2 eggs

6 Tbsp. oil

2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking soda 

2 tsp. baking powder

Method:

Heat waffle iron; measure all ingredients into blender.  Liquefy; make waffles!

[food coloring optional.]  ;-)