Where Gretchen's Been

Six and a half weeks ago, I made a stupid quick-decision and tumbled off John's mountain bike, breaking my left elbow and a bone in my right hand. When the orthopedist in the ER told me that I wouldn't be allowed to lift more than a coffee cup in either hand for six weeks, I cried.

John had ridden half of the trip, I met him in the car with the baby, and we switched places. Before we set out, I saw John start to pedal away, then turn back and get his helmet. And when I fell, I hit my head on the asphalt trail. We are very thankful that John had that helmet to pass off to me! In fact, there are many little things like this that we are grateful for, such as these:
- I had just bought a new package of disposable diapers for Sundays and we were stocked on groceries, so we were set for a while!
- I was supposed to make dessert for a luncheon on Monday, and I had already done it on Friday night!
- I had cut John's hair the weekend before instead of putting it off!
- We had taught Gemma how to drink from a bottle several weeks before. Apparently for some babies, this is really a struggle!
- I responded well to the pump we bought and maintained a plentiful supply of milk for her.
- She's generally an easy and adaptable baby.

In spite of these blessings, there were many, many times when I wished I could just rewind time and not hit the brakes on that bicycle so hard! Suddenly I was no longer the blissful baby-wearing mom I loved that I'd become. Apron, nursing, cloth diapering and Moby wrap were all put on the shelf for six weeks. I felt like I wasn't able to do what I was supposed to be doing. Through it all, I learned the hard lesson that I am not in control of my life. It took consciously reminding myself that God IS in control and He purposed for this to happen to keep me, honestly, from crying all the time.

We were also blessed and greatly encouraged by John's mom and my mom, who each gave up a few weeks to come take care of us. I'm thankful that Gemma had so much Grandma bonding time. John's mom was the voice of reason when I feared that Gemma would never want to nurse again, because she had been through something similar, and baby Johnny DID return to nursing! And, of course, there's nothing like having one's own mother around, especially when she's probably one of my best friends after John.

So, that is where I've been. Here. In a sling and a cast. Now I'm doing exercises to strengthen my hand and back to holding and nursing and wearing and cloth-diapering my sweet baby . . .

God is good.

On Reading Jane Austen as an Adult

Senior Year of College

Anyone who knows me well probably knows what a Jane Austen fan I am.  :-)  It all started in eighth grade when Pride and Prejudice was one of my reading books.  While I thoroughly enjoyed it, it wasn't until a year or two later when I saw the 1996 BBC movie version (the really long one!) that I started becoming obsessed.   Mom wasn't into Austen herself; she'd chosen the book from a recommended list or something, so I thought I was basically alone in my reveries.  

Then I got to college, where Mr. Darcy was the most popular man on the hall during intervisitation.  It was thrilling to meet so many girls who shared my excitement, and through the discovery of the Republic of Pemberley website, I found hours of distraction from homework awaiting me.  At some point, I found a lot of Pride and Prejudice graphics, etc. on the internet and completely Austen-ized my laptop with P&P wallpapers, screensavers, icons, pointers, and sounds.  (I set "Other way Mr. Collins!" as my error beep, and it eventually drove me nutty when I was struggling with a Mathematica assignment!)  I read more of her novels over the summers and borrowed DVD adaptations from our campus library for Friday nights.  I tried to trim my straw hat to make it like a Regency-era bonnet, and started sewing a dress and apron in Regency style.  And, of course, I longed more than ever to be married to a dashing young man.

Through all of this, Mom helped me with my sewing projects and bought me some of the movies for Christmas.  But she also included some wise warnings.  "Life isn't really like that, you know."  While most of me bucked back, I know, I know!  Otherwise, I wouldn't be in college right now.  I'd be married!  And my future husband doesn't have to own a huge estate in England; he just has to be godly!, part of me saw deeper into what she was saying.  I looked back on my freshman year and realized that some of my "Darcy-mania" had been sinful idolatry.  Even at the time, I realized that I spent way too much time thinking about Jane Austen every day. 

As life changed, my fervor subsided.  Now, I believe, I understand Mom's concerns more than I did before.  How realistic is it for a young woman to get even one unanticipated marriage proposal?  Yet for Jane Austen's characters, it is something of a regular occurrence.  Of course, every single book is a romance which ends with a wedding, and in real life, the wedding is just the beginning!  Real young women today can't (and shouldn't!) spend all their time drawing, playing the piano, walking across the countryside and and going on journeys.  They have a lot to prepare for in their lives ahead!  

Mom was also one of the few people I know who openly didn't like Elizabeth Bennett.  She thought that Elizabeth was pert where she should have been respectful.  It's interesting to note how many of Austen's heroines have very weak, silly parents, where they have parents in the picture at all.  Elizabeth, Emma, Elinor Dashwood, and Anne Elliot, at least, are all portrayed as much more sensible than the parents they have and much more aware of what is good for themselves. 

Granted, none of the novels are truly bad.  In very general terms, every book's rogue comes to personal misery in time and marriage is exalted.  The heroines themselves often learn character-lessons by their own mistakes.  Compared with the popular literature being written today, Jane Austen is probably quite harmless.  Still, for an obsessed reader like me, there was the very real danger of being influenced by my heroine friends.  In a girls' group discussion about books at our church's recent youth retreat, the mom who was leading warned her listeners not to let themselves lie on their pillows at night and fantasize about heroes from any book, Austen included. 

And so, I remain a fan, but mostly a fan who still prefers the Regency style of dress and decorating above most others.  I have much bigger things to occupy my mind now.  :-) I know from experience that real romance is better than what one reads about.  And, in a way, it's a relief to be on the post-wedding side of the story--the side that Jane Austen herself never saw.

On Hotdogs

Yummy nitrates.  Perhaps I can say that kind of flippantly because I don't really know what nitrates are; I've just heard that they're in hotdogs and they're bad for you.  Because of this fact, I have yet to buy a package of hotdogs as a wife in charge of grocery shopping. 

A couple of weeks ago, I somberly nodded in agreement when my dad-in-law declared, "Junk food is like rap music and pornography.  It robs a man of his ability to enjoy the real thing." 

And yet, when my mom and I walked into Stewarts a couple of weeks ago, I was nearly awash with emotion.  I'd forgotten how much I love Stewarts in the several months John and I had been away from it in the South.  Mom and I used to have a happy, occasional tradition of stopping at a Stewarts for hotdogs and milkshakes.  I revelled once again in the small-town, common-man, local-business feel and decided to get a hotdog, piling it with sauerkraut and the red relish I've never seen anywhere else.  It was delightful. 

Truth be told, when Saturday came, we all had hotdogs again.  After a day of garage-saling, gardening, and just generally being outdoors, an easy dinner seemed best.  Mom boiled up some pasta for pesto and Dad fired up the grill.  My parents buy Hebrew National hotdogs, which are delicious, and our supper was simple and perfect.

Then Mom started saying what I was already thinking.  "Grandpa Smith loved hotdogs.  He called them tube-steak.  And look how long he lived."  My grandpa was a remarkable man.  When he was diagnosed with Type I diabetes as an adult, people said that he wouldn't live past 50.  He lived to 86, and spent every day of his life outdoors.  And he ate stuff like hotdogs and candy bars a lot. 

I credit his health to all his exercise and God's blessing.  Lives like his help me to keep things in perspective.  And, undoubtedly in preparation for Memorial Day, my in-laws have a stash of Hebrew Nationals in their refrigerator door at this very minute! 

Oh, Priorities

I've been thinking about this little notepad this week.  The dear church I attended while I was in college always had a ladies' retreat in March, and one year the topic was Elizabeth George's book A Woman After God's Own Heart.  She argues from Scripture that a married woman's priorities are in the order listed above.  I learned a lot, and we all received these little notepads as reminders.  It all seemed so clear and simple.

This week has been the kind of week where I've spent most of my time on the last two items, ministry and self.  It's my week to tutor a ninth grader recovering from surgery on MWF, and since it's the first week of the month, we had our international student luncheon on Monday and ladies' Bible study on Tuesday.  And since this week includes the second Friday of the month, there's Mom's Coffee Connection, where I usually help babysit the kids so the moms can get edified.  On top of that, I've got a nasty cold or allergies or something, leading my sweet husband to let me get some extra sleep.  I've hardly cooked all week and haven't touched my usual house-cleaning.

Maybe all of this doesn't sound like much.  I don't have little kids to run around after or a full-time job.  And all these things rarely fall within the same week!  I'm quite thankful that John and I decided that I wouldn't teach full-time, at least during the first year of marriage.  It's a sweet time in life for us and not as hectic as teaching used to be.  But I do have a wider range of responsibilities now.  Do any of you readers find yourselves hemming and hawing when people ask, sweetly or judgmentally, "So, what do you do with your time?"  

As noble and exciting as ministry can be (and look to others), methinks things have been bit out of whack this week.  So, hit me over the head with that notepad again, please.

One of Many Reasons to Love Trader Joe's

Having a relationship with John, even from the earliest days, has helped me to develop in the quality of decisiveness!  I still have rather indecisive tendencies, but it's getting better.  :-) 

As a bachelor, John ate out a lot.  And when he finds something he likes, he sees no reason to order anything different.  When eating out with John, I always try to choose something quickly, or he'll be waiting, albeit patiently.  I know that whenever we go to Panera, he'll have a Smokehouse Turkey sandwich.  At Wendy's, he'll have a #1 with Sprite and chili instead of fries.  At Moe's, he'll have a Triple Lindy with chicken and guacamole.  At Starbucks, it's a Venti hot chocolate.  We've been to Outback twice now, and both times he ordered Chicken on the Barbie.  At an Indian restaurant, he always tries their version of Chicken Tikka Masala.  And at Thai restaurants, he always orders Yellow Curry. 

John loves yellow curry so much that we end up ordering it out once every week or two.  I love it now, too.  It is sooo yummy!  He's remarked several times that I'll have to learn to make it so we can save all that money!  Well, I did receive a small Thai cookbook as a gift which included a recipe for yellow curry, but the key ingredient is "yellow curry paste" which I haven't found yet.  I've been told that there are Asian markets nearby which are sure to carry such a thing.  For now, though, I was excited to find this bottle of sauce at Trader Joe's! 

For anyone who doesn't know, Trader Joe's is a wonderfully fun and useful store.  They have a great selection of natural and organic foods at relatively great prices.  Their all-natural peanut butter, for example, is $1.79 for 16 ounces.  A box of cereal bars made with organic ingredients is $1.69.  And the people are friendly, too.  I first explored the store nearest us hoping to find coconut milk to make John Chicken Tikka Masala using a recipe I'd found online.  An associate approached me while I was wandering about and had a can in my hands within a few seconds!  (I later discovered that even Walmart carries coconut milk, but at $.99 a can, Trader Joe's is cheaper!)

I visit Trader Joe's about once every two weeks, doing most of my shopping from the sale flyers of the grocery stores which are literally right around the corner from our home.  If you have one near you, you should definitely go!

Just another day

Today was an ordinary day by most standards, though I didn't get all that much done at work but instead spent most of the day waiting on other people. I watched the Holiday this evening which served to confirm a prejudice of mine: Jack Black has no business in any romantic comedy. The plot was fairly well constructed and I could relate to it; not really surprising when you think about it.

It's often instructive to watch the relational mistakes of others, and this movie was chock full of them. God has worked many specific relational improvements into my character over the last few years; I don't think I'd recognize myself if I could go back. One by one, He's knocked down every thing and person that's rivaled His relationship with me. His methods have been painful at times, pleasant at others, but always purposeful, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"When an omnipotent, sovereign Will meets a free, responsible will, something has to give."
--yours truly