Where Gretchen's Been

Six and a half weeks ago, I made a stupid quick-decision and tumbled off John's mountain bike, breaking my left elbow and a bone in my right hand. When the orthopedist in the ER told me that I wouldn't be allowed to lift more than a coffee cup in either hand for six weeks, I cried.

John had ridden half of the trip, I met him in the car with the baby, and we switched places. Before we set out, I saw John start to pedal away, then turn back and get his helmet. And when I fell, I hit my head on the asphalt trail. We are very thankful that John had that helmet to pass off to me! In fact, there are many little things like this that we are grateful for, such as these:
- I had just bought a new package of disposable diapers for Sundays and we were stocked on groceries, so we were set for a while!
- I was supposed to make dessert for a luncheon on Monday, and I had already done it on Friday night!
- I had cut John's hair the weekend before instead of putting it off!
- We had taught Gemma how to drink from a bottle several weeks before. Apparently for some babies, this is really a struggle!
- I responded well to the pump we bought and maintained a plentiful supply of milk for her.
- She's generally an easy and adaptable baby.

In spite of these blessings, there were many, many times when I wished I could just rewind time and not hit the brakes on that bicycle so hard! Suddenly I was no longer the blissful baby-wearing mom I loved that I'd become. Apron, nursing, cloth diapering and Moby wrap were all put on the shelf for six weeks. I felt like I wasn't able to do what I was supposed to be doing. Through it all, I learned the hard lesson that I am not in control of my life. It took consciously reminding myself that God IS in control and He purposed for this to happen to keep me, honestly, from crying all the time.

We were also blessed and greatly encouraged by John's mom and my mom, who each gave up a few weeks to come take care of us. I'm thankful that Gemma had so much Grandma bonding time. John's mom was the voice of reason when I feared that Gemma would never want to nurse again, because she had been through something similar, and baby Johnny DID return to nursing! And, of course, there's nothing like having one's own mother around, especially when she's probably one of my best friends after John.

So, that is where I've been. Here. In a sling and a cast. Now I'm doing exercises to strengthen my hand and back to holding and nursing and wearing and cloth-diapering my sweet baby . . .

God is good.