Strangeness

How does someone you haven't talked to in at least a year or two have you pegged? How does he give you the particular piece of advice / friendly shove in the right direction that you need at that particular moment? It's a strange thing to say the least. Thanks, Paul. Now all I have to do is follow your advice; that'd be the more faith-requiring part.

Joe Dutcher preached an amazing sermon on the parable of the lost son from Matthew 15; pity my brothers weren't there to hear it. He invited them and I bent over the nails, but if you can't make a horse drink, you certainly can't make a hardened sinner come to the gospel, even when it's being preached by someone they seem to respect. God doesn't answer prayers the way I want, but He knows best.

Living by faith

It's Thanksgiving and I'm full of turkey, and that's all I'm going to say about that. Well, not really; we had a lot of people in and it was a blast. Strangely, I'm not quite the same full-of-one-liners and the life of things around the folks as I am in other situations. I guess it's just the "visitor" syndrome, since all of them see each other semi-reguarly and I'm 700 miles away.

Living by sight would be so easy. No second-guessing, wondering, hoping, worrying, criticizing, or regretting -- because the plan of God would be a known quantity. The place that every little action held in God's outworking of good in my life would be known; I wouldn't have to wonder if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm missing something, or if I'm just getting in His way. It wouldn't require any faith, prayer, or trust... because it'd all be so obvious.

The life of faith strikes our pride right at the point between a desire for control and an feeling that I'm missing out on something. A clear understanding of God's providence combined with His absolute goodness is the only cure, but it's a poison pill to the I-know-best mindset.

If you can't tell, I'm confused at the moment. Yes, I get confused. No, that's all you get to find out. No, it's not that. Thank God I'm not controlling the universe, as nice as that would seem to be. If I actually need it, He'll put it in my path. Being confused is a good place to be, because nothing makes me lean on Him more.

with all your heart

I'm back in NY again, celebrating yet another birthday, hanging out with an old friend in NYC for a day, and then crashing for a week with my folks. I got to setup the rat's-nest-of-wires that is my parents' stereo system... lots of fun. I missed getting a free ticket, $200 and a paid-for hotel stay on my flight up, but I guess I can live without it.

It's amazing how just hearing a line from a song can bring a million things to mind... especially when it's "love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength."

Birthdays are one of those occasions that make you reflect over the past year, and past years. God, give me an eye that sees through the disappointments and frustrations of the present to see the gracious preventative purpose. Give me an eye that sees beyond present good times and blessings to see His preparation for future responsibility.

A quieted soul

It's been a pretty good week. I've accepted a job offer from HP, finally finished Twilight Princess, and.... well, that's it. Having managed to forget to tender the shares I bought, I'll have to wait another month or so for the fat stock and options check to roll in, but I'll survive without it. Not really sure what to do with it and the other stock money I have, since it's a shame to just leave it in a bank account earning squadouche in interest. Send your hot stock tips here.

I ended up reading a devotional written by Elizabeth Elliott drawn from the passage in Matthew where Jesus and the disciples encounter a storm on the lake and He's fallen asleep. She begins by making the point, how could He fall asleep in such a situation? He was so completely resigned to the total control of His Father over everything that He didn't see it as something to be worried about. A heart that is quieted in submission to the will of God is that only one that can react in such a manner.

Every thing in this world is geared to produce just the opposite of a quieted spirit. Whether it be the constancy of change, personal insecurities, a violated conscience, a controlling personality, or the drive of ambition, ... all are hardly conducive to quietness. To the contrary, our society banks on just the opposite. You don't have to watch adverts long to figure out that if you're content wth what you have, then you're a fool. All are geared to incite a feeling of dissatisfaction, because that's the only way you're going to go out and buy their better, stronger, faster. If you don't have the latest X, Y, or Z, then you're being left behind. If things in your life aren't going in the way you think is best, then you have to fix it. Now.

Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
Ps 131:2

Someday I'll play poker tournaments for a living... or maybe not.

Kick back

Some days you just have to kick back. Guess what I'm doing?

Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell
-- "Hold on", Sarah McLachlan

Take care of yourself
Be nice to your friends
And visit your relatives once in a while
Give love to your family
Take care of your baby
Don't be afraid to open your heart
-- "This is our life", Bosson

Great is Your faithfulness
To carry on with a sinner like me
Great is Your faithfulness
Turning shame into victory
-- "Great is Thy faithfulness", Newsboys

Just say no

Today was mostly ordinary, minus the working from the couch, dropping friends at the airport, and waiting around to drop another one off several hours from this writing.

Just say no. It's a saying coined back in the 80's as a suggestion for dealing with drugs, but it's really much older -- "do not present your members as instruments of sin". It only really applied when you want to do something that's harmful to you. If you didn't want it, you wouldn't have to be reminded "say no." That we have to be told is a testament to the hold sin has; it bends our affections toward the very things that destroy us, body and soul alike.

As a city broken into and without walls
So is a man who has no control over his spirit

Check your ego at the door

It's not every day that I get my ego knocked down a few pegs. It'd probably be better for my spiritual health if it happened more often, but at the same time I could do without feeling like crap. Other than that, it was a pretty ordinary day, thankfully.

Gossiping about a peer is one thing, because it poisons the way the hearer relates to that person. It's a whole other thing when said people complain about you to the leader of your group and don't say a word to you about it to your face. I'm not a stuck up person; believe it or not, I can take criticism. If you tell me I'm doing something wrong and what I'm doing wrong, I'll fix it. If you go behind my back, then I couldn't give a damn what you say and you're not even worth my contempt.

It's easy to be a humble person,... until someone points out your humility.

It's a strange thing to find yourself praying without having thought about doing it.

"The waiting.... is the hardest part." --Tom Petty

"What do these monkeys want me to do???" -- me, frustrated, while playing Twilight Princess

Fruit Loops

It's not everyday that your boss's boss gives you a bonus and sends out an e-mail about it to a bunch of higher-ups. It's not everyday that you find out that the few grand you had the company invest in their stock was just invested and is guaranteed a 250% return. It's not every weekend that I have to make a list of things to do on Saturday because there are so many. Apparently, today is just one of those days.

Today was spent largely in bug fixing for the coming interim Beta driver release, followed up by dinner with Mohan and a friend of his from Cali at an Indian restaurant in Brier Creek. I haven't had chicken masala in a long time, and their definition of "pretty spicy" completely hit the spot. Other than watching Hot Fuzz [which is awesome] that Evan had rented, ... not much after that to write home about.

On that note, I think it's about time for a bowl of Fruit Loops.

Irony is ironic

Today was pretty slow, but at the same time I have a lot of eggs up in the air; thus far I've been good at juggling them. I received word that a longtime missionary couple in Pakistan that is partially supported by my church were murdered in their home last night; sobering news to say the least.

In reviewing the Lord's day messages last night, Pastor Andy drew attention to something that had missed me, due to my earlier epiphanies as cited in my last post. The thought that Christ could be pleased with any of our actions is a staggering one. With a proper biblical understanding of total depravity, it's hard to imagine such a thing, even on my best days. Even Spirit-imparted righteousness leaves one infinitely far off; yet another reason why I will never be a Roman. Only imputed perfect righteousness applied to us allows the Father to see our actions through glasses colored by that righteousness. Every deed is seen as if it were the perfect work of Christ, because He was tempted in every way that we have been. Every deed in which we sin daily disappears next to His perfect works as the moon disappears at noon. And yet God is perfectly just, having punished each of those works in Christ in a single sacrifice. Whoa.

---
I suppose that it's irony that when you have lots of time, you don't do those things you've been meaning to do. When you are running around crazy busy, that's when you end up doing said things.

If honesty is the best policy,... then spoken irony is ironic. Or maybe it's coincidence.

What will your reaction be?

It was a pretty good day; coming down to the wire to release data at work, but nothing too strange. Except for waiting around half the day for the Redmond crew to start working on my bugs, that is.

Proverbs 28:2 "By the transgression of a land many are its princes, But by a man of understanding and knowledge, so it endures." And we wonder why bureaucracies come into being. Like John Adams said, our governmental system only works with a moral population.

Sometimes it doesn't take too long into the Lord's day for something to really stick in my mind and bug me the rest of the day. This time it was something Doug said a few minutes into the sunday school lesson, asking the question "what will your reaction be, when Christ comes again?" Once you get past the gutshot "well it'll be great" reaction, how you react is very telling of how you relate to the world and worldly things.

The lesson was drawn from the title of another chapter of Ryle, which echoes the words of Christ to "remember Lot's wife." When confronted with leaving her worldly possessions behind, she was so attracted to them that she disobeyed the angel's warning, and died as a result. When I think of what my reaction would be to the return of Christ, I find myself thinking "well I don't want Him to return yet, because I haven't done X yet and don't have Y yet" far more often than I'd like to admit. When it comes down to it, that reaction is exactly the same as hers- the things of earth meaning more to me than spiritual things. Needless to say, that train of thought is still rattling around my head 36 hours later.

In the morning, Pastor Gary continued the series in Colossians, beginning with the observation that while we often have "I want to please Him in everything" on our minds, we often resort to our own thoughts about what pleases Him and how to please Him. Paul's list starts with bearing fruit in what He things is good, something that requires searching of the Word to know. Second on Paul's list is theology, "increasing in the knowledge of God." Sadly, there are far too many so-called Christians who are faithful about following the "rules" and going to church once a week, but have no interest at all in learning about God Himself. Third, "strengthened to endurance." Fourth, "giving thanks." He dwelt for the rest of his time on this one, because it is the one most obvious to a watching world.

Only someone who has a strong understanding of Providence can be thankful in all circumstances, even the most painful. Knowing that every things that He brings about comes from the hand of an affectionate Father is the only thing that will get you through and enable you to take even the toughest situations with joy.

Emptyness is underated

It's been a long week, as evidenced by my drastic lack of blogging of late. I was in WV last week for Maw's 96th birthday; it was good to see the folks again and realize the amazing difference that the gospel makes in the way a family relates. Right before I left, I upgraded my laptop to Vista, and have liked what I've seen so far. I got back to Mebane in time for the evening service; Pastor Henning preached a sermon on the character of Jonathan; they've left to return to Costa in the past week.

It's been a busy week at work, coming down to the wire of the planned release candidate that is scheduled for Monday. It's a draining thing to be fixing things left and right, but I guess that's a sign that you're really contributing to the end product.

Our culture is all about independence. From its founding documents all the way down to the overwhelming waves "what you want" advertising, independence is the message of the day. But it's all an illusion; we can't even control the tiniest circumstances in our lives. As Paul put it, I will rather boast in my weakness, that the power of Christ may rest in me.

I'm drained, and really glad that it's Sunday now.

Thou and Thou only
first in my heart
high King of heaven
my treasure Thou art

I don't love you much do I
just more than the stars in the sky

Don't judge a book....

I have a new rule for anyone who engages in conversation with me. You are not allowed to insult someone with your choice of vulgar references unless a) I have met them already and b) You can remember their name accurately. If I haven't met them... I don't want to hear it. If you can't remember their name, you don't know them well enough to insult them honestly. There's nothing more awkward than heading out on a short business day-trip and having the manager-type you're going with proceed to insult them in vulgar terms, when I'm going to have to work with them for the next 6 hours, all when I haven't even met them yet.

Surprisingly, the business trip went very well; apparently, engineers do a lot better when an engineer speaks actual engineering to them. Who've have thought? All in all, it was a very productive trip, and we got a lot done.

Don't judge a book by its cover... and don't make me do it either.

It's been a long day.

Yay for code freeze

Today was pretty slow, other than the rash of tiny bugs that I had to address around 6pm. Code freeze day was largely uneventful, primarily because the Riverbed people _finally_ promised to make their device available tomorrow... one day after the code freeze. I'll be glad when that driver is finally done so that I can delete my VM, nuke my box and install Vista on it at long last.

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day, because I'm going on a site visit to try to address some driver bugs for BB&T [yes, the bank]. I guess I'll have to wear something more than shorts and a T-shirt... ah well. It's cool being the go-to technical guy on something like this; Lord willing, it will go well and help along the somewhat cool relations Opsware has had with this customer.

"Do your work as unto God and not unto men." --Paul

"It's a love story, with Bridget Bardoux playing the part of the hypotenuse." --Tom Lehrer is really funny

Father knows best

No, I'm not referring to the TV show and if you're reading this Dad, sorry it's not you either. Today was an ordinary Lord's day... if there is such a thing. Despite forgetting to set my alarm and the fact that the sun didn't wake me up like it usually does around 8am, I made it in time for Pastor Gary's next message in his marriage series.

If today's message could be summarized in a sentence, it would be that a central purpose in God's design of marriage was to be a principle help to the sanctification of the great majority of His people. If one were to go into a bit more detail, his miniseries has been premised on the supposition that marriage was designed not so much for the benefit of the parties concerned, but to serve as a miniature drama production illustrating the basics of the gospel message-- self sacrificing love on the part of the man and complete submission on the part of the woman. Neither comes to mankind by nature, and both are completely antithetical to the interests of remaining sin. While I can't speak to its benefits first hand, they are also available through the iron sharpening iron process of every relationship that I have.

Our evening message was brought by Pastor Andy and centered around the verses in John 20 that refer to the well known statement by Thomas- "unless I see the imprint of the nails, and put my hands into the imprint of the nails, and place my hand into His side, I will not believe." Thomas is commonly described as "the doubter," but Andy made the point that the statements ascribed to him in the gospels can be easily seen to be statements faith at best, and those of a halting believer at worst. Doubting often carries with it the stigma of unbelief, but doubting and vacillating are not contradictory to faith. If it weren't, then it wouldn't be faith, it would be sight.

His message focused not so much on the actions of Thomas, but on the response of Christ to His halting disciple. As He had previously done with Mary and as He did a short time later with Peter, His response directly addressed Thomas' questionings with a savor of grace. He invited Thomas to examine His wounds; His response is far accommodating than we would ever expect. He used Thomas' exact words, even though He had not been present when they were spoken, as a further proof of His deity. Thomas faith is proven by his response, "my Lord and my God!" Jesus response is great encouragement in times when I find myself doubting His purposes, either implicitly or explicitly. He hasn't changed; His response now is exactly as His response was then. Father knows best, but He is compassionate, having been tempted in every way I have.

For some reason I was reminded today of something I heard on Alan Colmes radio show, where he was asking an evangelical minister what the difference was between the Arab suicide bombers and some students of Christian schools saying they are "willing to die for God." Sadly, the minister hadn't any real answer, but if I'd had the chance to call in with the all to obvious response. Those students were expressing a willingness to be killed by others for the sake of their allegiance to Christ, which is a long sea mile from being willing to kill others for God. It's a complete straw man to compare the two, but sadly many seem willing to make it.

Blessed be Your name

Strangely enough, I picked that title because that's what I used when I was blogging in my sleep about an hour ago. That's right; that's what I said.

It's been a slow weekend so far; the heat has finally broken and it's now less than 90 out in the daytime. I'm watching Clear and Present Danger for the umpteenth time; it's such an awesome movie for so many reasons. Next week should be interesting, between several checkins hopefully before the cutoff date of Tuesday, a site visit to BB&T, a trip to WV, and who knows what else.

It's a sad fact that every time I consciously find myself thinking about how well I'm doing fighting against some sin, it's often a short order before I find myself committing it. I suppose it's a testament both to the its resilience and how pride inevitably comes before a fall.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Jumping right back in

After taking a week and a half off,... it's been a crazy week. It's code-freeze time, so there's lots of last minute work to do for this month's deadlines. My brother and his family visited for a few days. I'm going on a site-visit to BB&T as the resident expert on Wednesday. I'm going to WV the day after to see my grandmother, the folks, and not on a thankfully canceled customer site visit to Jersey someplace. School season is about to start, so I'm going to have to make a final decision on whether to do chorale this year or not. My company has been recently acquired so there are still a million things in the air.

Needless to say, things are hectic. It's a strange thing to find yourself at peace in the midst of turmoil, without even realizing it. Peace passing understanding, that's what we've been promised. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. God is good.

Anyone can be pleasant while things are going well.
Bad times have a way of bringing out the real you.

Whenever God closes a door, it's a surefire evidence that what was behind it wasn't good for you.

Having family visit rocks

Apparently when I'm busy I forget to blog. Who'd have thunk it. It's Tuesday; Joe, Candy, and the girls are in town for a few days after swinging through WV to see Maw. We went to Bullock's for dinner, since they were interested in trying North Carolina barbecue... it's been soooo long since I'd been there.

I've had a quiet first two days back at the office; the bustle from the pending acquisition seems to have abated somewhat.

I took my bike out for a test drive, out to the intersection of Fayetteville and MLK where the Tobacco trail intersects the road. It was probably a few miles, and definitely did a number on me. Hopefully as I get more time on it, I'll get in a bit better shape. It handled itself well; I'm really happy with the way it rides. Maybe eventually I'll be good enough at it to ride to the office and back; it's about 18 miles one way.

All's well that ends well

After sleeping 12 hours,... I think I'm back on the proverbial horse. I think it's a bike-shopping day; at last!

Somehow I ended up listening to a lot of Sarah McLachlan on the plane. This refrain stuck in my mind--

You know that you’re my best friend
You know I’d do anything for you
My love
Let nothing come between us
My love for you is strong and true

There is only one person who deserves such loyalty, and any girl who doesn't agree isn't worth the trouble.

Back

Well, I managed to make it back to good old Raleigh-Durham with all my things... despite leaving my laptop bag outside the airport for 10+ minutes. The only people with leaving town is that everyone forgets you exist temporarily, and suddenly you find yourself with nothing to do, after a lot of time of group activities and lots of things to do. Still, it feels good to be back; it was a much needed break from the grind of many months of hard work.

"The trick about finding happiness is not finding the one choice person who will make you happy; it's avoiding all the potential choices who will make you miserable." --I forget where I read that

Closed doors are a blessing; the only reason we don't see it is because we lack the God's-eye view.

Steak. I need a good steak. Or maybe I'll just find some Bang Bang shrimp.

bienvenido a miami

No, not the Will Smith song. I'm in the Miami airport after a largely uneventful flight from Rio. No hassles at Customs or Immigration, ... it's a lot easier coming back home than it is entering a foreign country. Good food on the airplane... but a 5 hour layover on the other side. Our gate was changed, which caused us to run back an forth across the airport... it's about 25 minutes from Concourse A to E.... and the 25 minutes back.

I'm waiting with baited breath for the Pizza Hut across the room to open.... because I've been without pepperoni for 10 WHOLE DAYS.

the paradox of Holiness

Captain's Log, stardate 8.2.2007.4.54.00.PM: beam me up, Scotty.

God is faithful; I am not. God is holy; I am not. God's eyes cannot look upon sin; my eyes seem to be remarkably less descriminating. God's character is impeccable; mine is shot through on an all too regular basis. GRACE: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Every time I pray, having found myself wandered all too far into sin, it surprises me how much of a "I'm better than this" attitude that floods to my mind. In fact, nothing could be more like me. In sin I was born, and I add to it daily. I've heard it said that holiness is a paradox- the more you realize you aren't, the more you are. The more the Spirit works within the soul, it becomes increasingly conscious of it's own filthiness.

The Lord is my protection; nothing but imputed righteousness is my hope. I'm about to fly home, more conscious of it than ever. Lord willing, I will post again from the good old US of A.

Last day... Copacabana and Ipanema

Well, it's my last full day in Rio... it went by so slowly in the beginning, but so fast in the end. We had two options: a jeep tour of the nearby jungle or a schooner tour of the bay area. Anyone who knows me knows what I chose: the jeep tour, hands down. Our driver, Andre, was a complete trip, and just as good as Victor. He was jovial, [he said that his 8-year-old has once told him to "stop being silly"] but he didn't overdue it. We drove out of town in an old-style Army Jeep [probably US made] and about 30-45 minutes out to a National Park [name escapes me]. There are hiking trails that are comparable to those I've walked in the Adirondacks, except that it's dense jungle everywhere. No poison frogs and the like, but we did see the plant that produces the spikes used in blowguns to deliver Curare poison that I've read about. We drove back along the beach, both Ipanema and Copacabana... awesome! The bus doesn't do it justice... nothing compares to a non-existent window and roof.

We finally visited the beach today; the waves were amazing, better that I've seen ANYwhere. Half my kingdom for a surf board.

I think I finally figured out why this trip has been so wonderful; I've been working like a dog the last few months. It's really fun work and the people are the best, but it's still been quite a grind over the longterm. A change of scenery, company, country, language, hemisphere, weather, culture, .... I think it was just what I needed.

"If I rise on wings of dawn or drift in seas of doubt
even there Your strong right hand has never failed to guide me out
Great is Your faithfulness, to carry on with a sinner like me."
--Newsboys

Deus, O Brigado. Jesus, O Brigado. Espírito Sagrado, O Brigado.

God has protected me and mine through these long days, I'm only down a camera case and a pair of sandals which have since been replaced. There's nothing like being completely out of your element to remind me of my own smallness.

"The arm of flesh will fail you; you dare not trust your own [nor anyone else's]"

I'm off to our last-day dinner at a local Churrascaria [similar to the ones I've seen in NC]... Brazilian style where they bring the meat to you on skewers and cut it off right in front of you. Several of us at the office are big fans,.... now I've been to more than restaurants simply titled "Rio" in the Estados Unitos.

Back eventually.

an Amazing last concert

Since the internet isn't behaving, I'll have to write this offline and post later.

Today was another excellent day; our final concert was the best attended and most enthusiastically interactive of them all,... which is saying a lot! We performed at a nearby church, over by Ipanema I believe... not sure. We arrived early to rehearse at 4pm because they had a daily Mass at 5pm. We practiced the beginnings of most of the pieces and got ovations after every one from the growing crowd. After spending an hour or two waiting, we went on at 7pm to a nearly packed house. They gave us standing ovations at least 3 or 4 times, most notably after Muie Rendera, for which many of the crowd sung along from the very beginning. We did it again for an encore at the end, and there wasn't a person sitting 3 seconds after we were done!

God has thus far blessed the trip, both to the group and to myself personally. There has been a very open atmosphere, no cliqing, and good times all around. The weather has been amazing, and our tour guides have been the best of any kind I've ever seen, by FAR. Amiable, well-prepared, easy to converse with, and with enough knowledge to exhaust every question.

We found out tonight over dinner just how dangerous of a place we were in when visiting the Casa de Santa Ana in Cidade de Deus; Victor described his interaction with the lookouts [it, like most slums around Rio and other cities, are centers of the drug trade]. Apparently when they were informed of our intentions, they gave us space... you don't mess with us we won't mess with you kind of thing; apparently there is honor even among thieves, so to speak. The hand of God was around us like a blanket, so much so that many of us were completely oblivious to it. It makes the work of those people in Santa Ana that much more impressive and praiseworthy, because of the circumstances in which they perform their labor of love.

The quintet of singers that performed for us the day before did make it to the concert, though we accidentally told them it was at 8pm rather than 7pm, but they made it for the good parts. It was exhilarating to see them actually come; perhaps sometime I'll be able to visit Argentina... eventually. We've got an e-mail address for contact... God knows.

Tomorrow I'm going on the Jeep tour through the jungle... should be quite a ride, and then we've got an afternoon free, so I'll FINALLY get to go to the Copacabana beach and swim. W00t!

It was a very hypothetical day

Today was a day of hypotheticals. I may have awakened in Rio, and taken a tour of the Sugarloaf mountain and seen the giant statue of Christ on a nearby hill. I may have run up the steps rather than take an elevator for the last part of the way.

Other than those hypotheticals, it was a great day. God gave us very favorable weather, and our touring went famously. We sang several unplanned mini-concerts while waiting for the trains to take us to the giant statue of Christ [that made the "new seven wonders of the world" list]. They were literally begging for more and very interactive while we performed. In the later evening, we walked along the Copacabana and while we were sitting for a drink [they had _so_ many fruit juices], a small quintet sang for us.... they blended so perfectly, it was amazing. We surprised them by turning the tables and singing a song or two of our own! They were shocked, and stayed for a while, singing some American popular music that we were able to join in on.

All in all, a very one-of-a-kind day, to say the least. I took some amazing long-exposure pictures of Rio from the Sugarloaf, ... you'd think they were a postcard.

Rio: Copacabana!

Today was a pretty good day.... if you can call being driven around RIO DE JANIERO and seeing the waves of the COPACABANA and IPANEMA simply a "good" thing.

We started off the day by visiting the local "hippie market", essentially a craft fair on the streets of large proportions. Apparently it used to have something to do with hippies,... but no longer. I replaced the pair of sandals I lost in Salvador with a new one and picked up a few more trinkets for the folks back home. I also stopped to talk to and play checkers with some of the vendors; it was a bit harder because the rules are a little different. You can only move forward, but you can jump backwards. When you are "kinged," the king can move any number of spaces and can jump pieces along its diagonal at any distance. They were really fun guys, and I have a video of one of them offering a live pigeon that he had just picked up, suggesting that we could eat it, and then Hilary reacting as you'd expect some to react with a "no!!!".... good times.

After returning from the Hippie market, we were dropped back at the hotel where I mailed my postcards at last. Hopefully they'll arrive home before I do. We ate at a local supermarket that had a "pizzeria" restaurant in the back; I had a Calzone that included a lot of ricotta cheese, olives, peppers, tomato sauce and pieces of hard boiled egg! I'd never had one quite like it; I don't think they have pepperoni of any form, since hotdogs pass for "sausage" everywhere I've seen.

We performed at the Candelaria cathedral in Rio, an amazing place. We got there a little early and toured the cathedral of St. Sebastian, a giant cone-shaped building with massive paned stained glass on each of its 4 sides. Granite floors and an amazing structure... I took a lot of pictures! Our concert was well attended, and apparently recorded for a Brazilian television station! We won't get the recording for 6 months or so, since they want to edit it for broadcast and such, and we have to give them copies of our passports as a waiver of any rights to it, naturally. Still... it was a great performance on our part; all of the songs were right-on in a way that doesn't usually happen with all songs at once.

Afterwards, we ate at a local cafe; I had a lasagna dish and a milkshake that was really good, as good or better than Fuddruckers and for less dough. A Cuban athletic team came in while we were eating; Nan got some pictures with them, some with my camera.... I wish I'd had the chance to see some of the Pan-American games with them being in town, but I'll have to be satisfied with having heard the very loud music from their closing celebration echoing through the streets.

In the course of the day, I had opportunity to walk along some of the famed Copacabana beach and take some pictures, including one of the Copacabana name scratched into the beach sand (by moi). Tomorrow, we're going to go see the huge status of Jesus up on the nearby mountain, it's gotten a lot of international publicity [including a place in the revised "Seven Wonders" list]. We'll also go up the Sugarloaf, a local hill that forms a very sharp silhouette on the nearby skyline. It should make for some amazing pictures of the city. The waves on the copacabana are also huge, nearly 6+ feet ... I'll be looking for bodyboards and for parasailing opportunities.

So many things, so little time!

Rio! Day 5

We flew out of Salvador airport at a bright and early 9:00am [meaning up and at 'em at 6am], arriving in Rio without incident after a 2-hour flight. It's amazing how you take a safe flight for granted; the Lord is good.

Today was spent in traveling, checking in to the Hotel Luxor Continental, and driving along the Ipanema and Copacabana beaches... they're something else all right! It was raining most of the day, so no one was out, but I can easily see what makes them so famous. We will hopefully visit them in coming days, even better if we can get out at night and listen-to/dance-with a samba school on the beach. I'm currently researching doing para-sailing, beach walking, possible roller coasters, and perhaps even some dance practice if the situation presents itself.

As I will be unable to attend morning services tomorrow, and I will be on the bus during the approximate times of Mebane's web broadcast, I will be reading a lot of Ryle tomorrow. I sense that there are many believers among this bunch, both nominal and more serious, so hopefully the coincidence of the day, a long bus ride and my selection of reading material will generate some conversation of a spiritual bent.

We had an truly awe-inspiring concert this afternoon, after visiting the Casa de Santa Anna, a ministry where mental, emotional, and physical help is given to elderly of the area who would otherwise be, as the workers reported some of their patients saying it, sitting around waiting to die. The city of Rio de Janiero is a large one, about 6 million, but there are many slum areas that are very poor. From our short walkthrough of one on the way to Santa Anna, it was a real assault on one's senses. Even with the cleansing rain falling, refuse was everywhere and the stench of raw sewage and squalor was everywhere. There is a serious drug trade that is all around, according to Victor our guide, and it is doubtless similarly spiritually destitute. The work that that group was doing was remarkable, if judging only by the group of women who sang for us from among their patients, along with a group of children who are similarly cared for.

We went on after they performed a few pieces, and by the end when we sang Mui Rendera, almost all of them were right there singing along with us. After a long round of applause [we received a standing ovation after every single piece!] they spontaneously came up on stage with us, along with a large crowd of camera-bearers wanting to take pictures. We sung refrains from the Mui Rendera along with them, and had a really good time with it.

Afterwards, we ended up doing a bit of dancing with some of them in a side room where tea and coffee were being served... all and all the best concert I can remember being involved in. I hope that we can serve as an encouragement to them, both through our presence and the donation our group made to their work, because, although I know nothing of the spiritual dimensions of their work, I can't imagine a more Christ-imitating work than what they were doing. Sometimes I end up thinking "well I'd like to do that, but I don't know if I have the temperament or long-haul patience for it"... but that's really just the sin of selfishness rearing it's ugly head. Christ has done as much, and a million times over, for me; how could I think that I should do anything less? I don't know how I'd work it in, given my rash of travel recently, but I'd have to admit an interest in a mission trip in the near future. Too bad I missed the New Orleans trip a few months back; maybe something else will arise soon.

We ended up eating dinner at a fancy place in Rio that had a live band playing... except that we ended up leaving because the music start was delayed and we're all rather tired. If I go to bed this instant, maybe I'll get 8 hours.

"And the King will say to those on his right, 'Come ye, blessed of my Father, into the kingdom prepared for you. For you saw me hungry, and gave me food; thirsty and you gave me drink. Naked, and you clothed me, and in prison and you came to Me.' And they shall say to him, 'When did we do this for You?' And He will say 'In that you did it to the least of these my brethren, you did it to Me.'" --Matthew something:something

"We don't know who the elect of Christ are. Every time we see someone in need and refuse them, either explicitly or implicitly, we may at the last day find ourselves under the condemnation of this saying of Christ. What a horrible thing it would be to find yourself in heaven and have someone come up to you and gently remind you that you had spat in the proverbial face of one of Christ's precious ones." --yeah that's an self quotation

Salvador day 4: walking and swimming

Today started with a nice early 8am rise, breakfast in the lobby, and a bus-tour of Salvador. It was a very interesting trip, stopping several times for pictures and such... including one stop at the beach where some men sold coconuts with straws attached... sweet but not that sweet. There was a walking tour of the local Market, where I bought more than my share of things. The highlight: I was offered a nice wooden carving for 140R, but I wasn't interested... I held the guy off for a while until it was down to 100 before walking away. However, before leaving, he caught me again and I again rebuffed him, until as I was walking down the stairs he came up and put in my bag... the final price was 30R. That's bargaining skills, baby!

It's 4pm and I'm heading down to swim in the bay, ... right down the slope [e.g. several hundred steps!] from the hotel. They have an awesome slide that dumps you off a 10-foot drop at the end... headfirst if you're like me! They also have a higher platform, maybe 25 feet, for a zipline that I was unfortunately stopped from using when I tried the other day. I just jumped off... it's quite a drop! Many pictures and movies, so you'll all get to see how cool I looked. Hopefully they'll end up on facebook eventually or some such. Ciao!

Everywhere Portuguese

Wouldn't you know it that the Blog site sees me connecting from Brazil and translates all the menu items... good thing I can interpret some Portuguese or I'd be up a creek.

Day 2 and 3: Salvador

This one I'm writing as I post. They charge $10US for 24-hours of internet access, which I'm subletting to anyone who wants to use my computer... I'll probably end up making money in the end.

Tidbit of the day: the room keys must be placed in a jacket by the door to turn on the power circuit for the room. 20 seconds out of the slot and the power shuts off; I already trapped Chas in the bathroom once this way. Lesson learned.

It's 1:30am local time and it's been a long day of running around the town. Here's a brief timeline:

~3pm Wednesday July 27 [technically day 1]: we finally arrived in Salvador after arriving in Rio early in the morning and flying over here. This last flight was on the GOL airline... same one that had all those crashes and other mishaps; God kept us safe and we landed on time, though it's the only jet plane I've been on that was literally shaking us silly while just taxiing to the runway!

7pm Wed: Went to a local former church [I believe] and ate a buffet meal followed by a show ... meaning _dancing_ show. The first act was a very colorful display of samba dancing by men/women dressed as some of the traditional African god(esse)s that have been carried over in centuries past by the African slaves. Following that was an amazing display of several men "playing" capoeira, an acclaimed Brazilian fighting style that you have to see to believe. The amount of strength, flexibility, and stamina required to jump around a carry on like they did is tremendous; ask me for videos sometime or look up some for yourself... it's somethin' else.

I took some good videos of this... it's really something else.

Thursday (_today_): We took a walking tour of Salvador, visiting a lot of shops and encountering all the usuals of a big city: interesting graffiti [some was _very_ well done], old buildings, very old buildings, and street vendors like you wouldn't believe. I've been to NYC, but NYC has nothing on this place. I bought my share of trinkets using exchanged Reals [hhhhre-eyes if you will] and got a good amount for my cash [esp considering the Real trades at more than 2-per-$]. We ate at Pareira (if I spell correctly) ... 1.5 large steaks plus extras for about $19US [you had to split meals].

We did a few songs on the street in front of an apparently-famous drum school called Olorun, headquartered in Salvador; it had been scheduled for us by our tour manager. They are a patron-funded school that works with low-income families and street children, giving them something to do during their school day, since it only runs for half a day [7am-1pm]; they also performed for us and were excellent [yes, I have videos]

We performed a 1-hour concert tonight in Salvador [don't recall where], which was very well received. We really got into it, for a first concert, and I think we'll have a hard time topping it in our remaining 3 or 4 performances. If the Lord wills, we will be doing another tomorrow [today actually, it's 2am] after doing some more touring. As they say, boa noite for now.

Brazil rocks; Day 1

As many of you know, I'm in Brazil now for about 10 days. I have limited net access but will post things as I can. Look for bursts of traffic. Since I have enough to say and only spotty posting ability, I'll try to limit my usual. personal ramblings.

Day 1- 24 hours of plane heaven
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It's about 1am and I'm midway on my flight to Rio from Miami; all seems well so far but it's in the hands of God regardless.

Knowing the will of God isn't a matter ot getting some special insight into the plan of God. Only by being conformed to His image do we come to value the things He values, love the things He loves, and hate the things He hates. I don't know His will by a mystical revelation, I know it by having my character conformed to His. The more my character is conformed to His, the more our wills will be in sync.

As I've said before, it's easy to trust that God is working things out when said things go as expected. Put simply, it requires no faith. Faith is the substance of things _not_ seen.

If only my reading light worked... I'd be reading Ryle. Ah well.

"The Lord taketh and the Lord giveth away." -- PotC:CotBP

According to The Italian Job, "fine" stands for "Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional".
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...Later that day ... err 6am the next morning
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Well, we are still flying. After arriving at Miami a slightly late 8:30pm, we had a litle less than the expected 3 hours layover. Flying out around 11 or so, we had a largely uneventfull flight to Rio on a 767 wiht DC power available. I didn't sleep much myself though there were many that did. I think we eended up flying until around 8am local time in Rio,which is about 1 hour ahead of us in Raleigh [they don't use DST]. We met Victor, our tour guide, shortly after we arrved in Rio; He speaks fluent English and he seems like a pretty cool guy. We wiated around until about 2:30 local time to fly out yet again, this time to Salvador. It's 4:12 right now, and I think we're just starting to decend... for the last time! It's been a long day, and is draining me slowly but surely. In a perverse way, it's a blessing that I keep such weird hours because it also makes it very easy for meto travel.

I have high hopes for this weke, having spend about 3000 dollars for it [upfront, plus other expenses] and it's the first I've been out of the country since going to England in 2003 and my first time ouside the Northern hemisphere. Throw in another language that I've never heard, another currency [thankfully better rates than the Pound], some jungles, and you've got a pretty cool trip.

God has kept us safe thus far, with the only casualty having been the luggage containing the programs [which an be regained, as Nancy has the original in her possession]. I don't know how much of a sense I'm going to get on this trip of the darkness of this Cathocism-darkened country that I'm going to see, but from what I've read it's pretty intense. I was speaking to Don earlier [a music minister from Greensboro] and he had talked about sending kids on mission trips to Mexico and how much it opened their eyes to the conditions that others in the world live with, which could be said even more in the spiritual realm. I've been given a pretty filled up storehousee of knowledge which puts quite the responsibility on my head. I don't feel it as much as I surely should, but perhaps this trip will put that a little more in focus. Oh look, it's landing time.

my word do I need a sedative

I'm glad I don't remember all the words to the song that starts "I couldn't sleep at all last night" or they'd be looping around my brain right now. I need a neuro-suppressive. Badly.

Red letter doesn't quite cover it

Some days are red letter days. Some days are bold print. Some days are both, and then some. This would be one of those. Let me see if I can list the things that are going on:

- My company was bought by HP, causing the stock to jump 4 dollars [to $14], my options to more than double, and all the salary I'd been diverting to stock to nearly double. My job is secure, and I've been pulled into some high profile projects of late

- I'm leaving for a 10-day vacation, perfectly timed for a company-acquisition that I knew nothing about. I successfully handed off my work-in-progress, and I'm all packed.

- I had an amazing Lord's day that I have more than enough to blog about. Amazingly it happened to be on the hand of God in the backgrounds of our lives, from the book of Ruth. Amazing how God keeps doing that to me week after week, bringing things that have been on my mind the entire week.

- And that's not the half of it. Maybe I'll that part more fully into words eventually.

Except for a phone call that I must make, a hair cut, pants I have to buy, and a trip to the airport.... I'm finally ready for the trip. I'll, naturally, have my computer sewn to my hip much of the time, but I will hopefully be doing a lot and taking a lot of pictures. Pray for me; there have been a lot of plane crashes, flights turned back, and emergency landings in Brazil over the last month. As Stonewall put it, I am as safe on an airplane as I am in bed. I will be online a bit during my trip, and posting notes to my blog when I can.

To abbreviate my notes from the Lord's day, Savador Gomez was in town from the Dominican, having come up for a ladies' conference in the past week. He gave a report on the work at IBSJ in the Sunday school, focusing on their Christian school and Radio Eternidad ministry.

His morning message was a semi-evangelistic one, focusing on the doctrinal tuple of conversion, sanctification, and glorification. His central message, oft repeated, was that God wants us to change. It's why He performed the heart transplant, removing the heart of stone; it's why He implants the power of the Spirit to steadily purify us; it's why He will purge the very presence of sin from us at last.

The evening message was drawn from the book of Ruth; a sort of followup/review of what had been addressed to the ladies earlier in the week. Recent events have driven home to me the gist of the message, that God's Sovereign hand is always at work, though we may not perceive it until a long time afterwards. Despite our foolish plans [as Naomi's in chapter 3], He works out what we will soon readily acknowledge to be what was toward out highest good, both in this world and the world to come.

There's so much more, but it's 11:30, I've got a crazy amount of energy, and I need to wind down if I'm to have any hope of getting a reasonable amount of sleep tonight.

39 Articles... Steps... Hours

The Anglican church has 39 articles of faith
There is a spy novel named "39 Steps"
I have 39 hours before I leave the country
Coincidence.... I think not.

Today's excitement centered around my last Brazil rehearsal, my bowling for an hour with Warren, and watching Ratatouille with Evan, Christy, Warren, and Carrie. That, and sitting on my butt; we all know how exciting that is. The movie rocked; it was the funniest thing I've seen in a while. I lobbied for Die Hard 4, but everyone was pretty set on the Rat.

It's been a long time since Sunday; it always seems like that by the end of the week. I'm glad God didn't create the universe in more than six days or it'd be much to long time to go between spiritual fillings

It's sad how you can introduce someone to people and they use the word "keeper" without knowing anything of their spiritual walk or standing in Grace. I'm sure they mean well and realize they speak out of limited knowledge, but it's still slightly upsetting. If a girl's demeanor, way with children, or education were the barometer, then it'd be a pretty big pond. As my facebook paraphrase goes, "as a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is the most perfect perspective spouse without the indwelling Spirit." It's a pretty ring, but not when it comes with a pig attached. The Spirit is easy to spot, as easily as one can tell a beautiful person from a pig; He makes such an impact. Religiosity can't mimic it; living a moral life, going to church, undergoing sacraments, none of it will pass muster without the unassisted heart transplant of the Spirit. In a way, it's not tangible, but as the saying goes, you know it when you see it. And when you see it, it's more miraculously amazing than seeing a sea divided or water transformed into wine.

If only I were tired.... like I will be when I'm in Sunday school attempting to glean what I can from Ryle.

Thank God It (was) Friday

I think it's an artifact of the crazy hours I kept during my school days that when I get tired, at the normal time, if I don't go to bed right away I become alert again within about 30 or so minutes and can no longer fall asleep. Maybe that's the curse of being an engineer. Lord knows I'm not an English major.

After a few zany hours at work going back and forth with Dan yet again, I drove up to Lynchburg to see Cherise for a few hours, subsequently getting my ass handed to me in mini-golf. I can't say for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if I won the second 18-hold round because she had pity.... though I did shoot a little better. Apparently, Wii baseball didn't help me much either, since I missed every single pitch at the batting cages. That said, she easily managed to make the completely sucktastic sports performance well worth the trouble. I don't usually have a personal cheering section when I'm playing the Wii, maybe that's what threw me off.

I've come to be a fan of Melissa Scott's TV program, in which she continues her husband's long standing ministry which concentrates around delving into the original languages of bible texts, in a way that's both succinct and clear and at the same time broad-based and confusing. The text from the other day concerned Paul's reference to power being "in" Christians by means of the Spirit and noted the similarity between the language used and that used in reference to Christ dwelling in flesh.

The divinity of the Son of God was made manifest in a real human body and soul; in the same way, the Spirit enters in at conversion, enlivening the dead nature and investing in it a divine power; this is what Paul means when he speaks of the power of Christ being in us. It's not a power that acts on us, as if God were the one acting without our efforts, but God acts through our efforts; as Paul put it "it is I who live, and yet not I, but Christ in me." It's an incredible context, in the real meaning of that word, because it invests a wealth of meaning into even the smallest everyday events. None but that power can truly mortify sin. None but that power can truly accomplish anything for the cause of Christ.

People think miracles are things that have no discernible human agency. God's greatest miracles aren't divided Red Seas, walking on water, or healing with a touch; His greatest miracles are worked out, under the proverbial radar, in and through the everyday lives of Spirit-empowered human agents. Every day is the Lord's day, because He's got first dibs on every minute. Every day is the Lord's day, because He's the only One for whom I am living.

Sometimes things just work

My stock is up, both literally and figuratively. And no, I haven't bought any cows.

Work went pretty well today- things got done, I was able to answer the questions put to me, and bugs seemed easy to fix. I'm not really a people-person by nature, but I think having a job that involves a lot of back and forth with a variety of people has done wonders.

Ironically, it's harder to trust in God's providence when things are going well. I guess that proves how deep our autonomous streak goes; even while realizing a need for God when things are bad, we forget him when things are good. As Agur put it: "Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion. Lest I be full and deny You and say 'Who is the Lord?' or I be in want and steal, and profane the name of my God."
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4.5 more days before I get exported

Man I need a break

Having just celebrated my one-year anniversary of getting a real job, I find myself hip-deep in it. Between traveling, having several projects at once, paranoid security setups with my customer contacts, combined with the ant problem in my apartment... I scarcely have time for anything besides.

Hopefully a Friday off and a long trip to Brazil will return things to some semblance of normalcy. My trust is not in circumstances to relieve my stress; God will bring me what I need in His own time, especially if it's not what I think it to be. "The of flesh will fail you; you dare not trust your own" applies as much to the musings of my mind as the efforts of my arm. Effectual Grace is the only true security.

I hit 6 birdies in Wii golf just now, ... and a triple bogey on the last hole. So close to breaking my record. If only normal golf were as easy as Wii golf.

We [Warren + Keith + Mike + I] went to trivia at the Saucer last night... nearly won again this time, but no dice. It's the type of place that I both would and would not want to bring a girl along. I wouldn't bring one because I wouldn't like any girl who's not bothered by their waitresses' attire, but at the same time I'd need one to keep me honest. That, and my interest in alcohol does not extend to beer; I guess those'd be two significant reasons not to go there, which is enough for me.

If I could only remember to buy batteries.

Check your pride at the door

It's been a normal day- went to the office, realized how much trouble it is to work with some customers, got over it- the usual. It's funny that just a line from a song can slap you in the face with how sinfully you're reacting to something. And then it happens again not too much later. And again. God rounds off the rough edges, but it takes a lot of abrasion, a lot of hard work, and a lot of pieces of your pride that you have to leave behind in a pile on the floor. God is the ultimate craftsman, working in the medium of human hearts.

The character of a person is known by the way they react to adversity. As Liz Eliot said in her book Mark of a Man, character is forged in the furnace of self-control and self-denial. There are those who try to hem their children about, keeping them from every single thing in which they could do themselves harm. I understand why they would do this, but it's a defective strategy.

Temptation, of whatever flavor, is well represented by the metaphor of fire. Of itself, it destroys everything before it, but under the control of a skilled blacksmith, it is absolutely essential in tempering and strengthening metal. Unless one's character has been tempered, it remains brittle and isn't going to last the battle. While temptation is to be denied battle when possible, it is essential to the development of strong character.

As a man thinks within himself, so he is.

If God changed your mind,... how would you know?

Here am I; send me!

God knows what I need. While I'm all to aware of this, it's slammed home when I hear a sermon [the evening message, this time] that directly addresses something I put in the previous day's blog. While it's hardly comfortable to have yourself pegged by an unsuspecting pastor, it was a pretty good day. And that's even counting the many dozens of ants that I noticed when I picked up a container of recently purchased truffles to take to the Christoph's. Apparently the seal was broken during my flight, and a few days was enough to get their attention and have them flocking on my bedroom table.

The SS lecture continued the study in Ryle, coming to the chapter on the Cost; specifically, counting it. While I didn't have a pen for notes because I was late cleaning up the ants, I do recall that there were 4 specific things Ryle notes that we must give up in following Christ -- my self-righteousness, my sins, my reputation, and a life of ease. Self-righteousness is perhaps the hardest of all, because pride sticks to your bones even when you've been regenerated. There's always little voice saying "well, you're a sinner, but you're not as much a sinner as that guy."

The morning message focused on the accessibility we have to the power of Christ, accessed through His word. Paul's expressed wish that the Colossians would be "being strengthened, according to His might" brings this to the fore. To paraphrase John Piper, Christ is most glorified in us when we depend on Him fully. We have an all-powerful, completely accessible, able-and-willing source; what kind of people should we be? In that light, how could we anything but filled with "patience and longsuffering, with joy," even i n the face of the worst trials life throws at us?

The word Paul uses for patience means literally to "remain under"; it is translated "endurance" in 2 Thess 1:4 and and "perseverance" in Romans 2:7, and refers to much more than simply holding on. Its usage refers to a growth, even flourishing, even in opposing circumstances which would seem to produce the opposite. Colossians 1:11 - strengthened with all power according to His glorious might; it's the only way that such can happen.

Pastor Gary closed with the question; given what we've seen, is it ever legitimate to look for ways out of trials, given that we have access to such power? While I would have thought he was leading to answer "no", he pointed out that every single person who is recorded as coming to Christ came for deliverance from their suffering, not for "patience" to bear it well. Christ's response in each and every case was to enact the requested relief. It is therefore legitimate to seek relief unless there are no morally acceptable means available.

The evening message was the one that really got to me, drawn from the last verses of James 4. James condemns those who, in their speech, act as practical atheists in their planning. As Pastor Andy pointed out, to live life without God at its focus is the essence of worldliness. We often rationalize passages that speak of avoiding being stained with the world, as if we are fulfilling them by avoiding the "big" sins that characterize our culture. When we do acknowledge God's providence, it's often simply lip service or even as a complaint or expression of mistrust when our wills are crossed by His.

It's a rebuke to think of how often I am a practical worldling, implicit though it may be. Is God's expressed will a controlling feature in your plans? Is His decreed will something you tolerate or even chafe against, or is it a source of comfort? As Isaiah put it, "here am I; send me!" As Abraham's servant put it, "I being in the way, the Lord led me." That's how I want to be.

the Holy Spotlight

Today was an ordinary Saturday, aside from the Wii hacking, glass buying, and seeing the Romantics for the first time in concert. I managed to break the glass pane I bought right as I left the store and had to go back to the same guy to get another... sometimes I surprise even myself with my lapses of coordination.

You can tell you're an engineer if you get your kicks by spending time trying to find a way to interface the wireless controllers of your game system with 20 year old console games being emulated on your laptop computer. I can now use my Wii remotes to control applications on my computer, including older Nintendo games that are running through an emulator. The more technology changes,... the more it stays the same. 4 arrow keys, A, B, Z, and Start buttons, and you've got yourself a game system; all these have been around for 20+ years.

It's been about a week since the memorial service; it's hard to tell how much of what was a very heart-impressing sermon have stuck. The one con, perhaps, of getting so much serious instruction one day a week is that much of it seems to be in one ear and out the other. Sure, you can remember it for the day, but it's amazing how hard I have to think sometimes during the week, ... what was preached last Sunday? I take some comfort in noticing that I am similarly amnesiac when it comes to other events as they happen, but it's still a bit unnerving that things which seem to grip me at the time also seem to fade with alarming rapidity.

John 14:26 - "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you."

I'd take that text to be as applicable to me during my week as it was to the apostles. The Spirit's principle work is to shine a spotlight on Christ, both through His written word and in its verbal exposition through preaching. Maybe that's why things I've heard on His day seem to come to mind through out the week. Maybe that's why I most most enjoy a service that is centered around around said Word, not liturgical ceremony, a preacher's funny stories, music, the Eucharist; they're all very poor substitutes.
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9 days till I get exported.

Topsy Turvy

Today was a little more active than most, but at the same time not-- between a long conference call, finding out I'm going to be the technical answer-man for a site visit to a nearby customer with one of our program managers in a few days, getting my upgraded laptop memory, and watching the new Harry Potter flick,.... eh I didn't do that much. Well, I'm leaving out some of the highlights, but you'll have to ask me for that. It's definitely been an up day. Seeing the Romantics in concert tomorrow after having waited all summer won't hurt either.

It's a strange semi-coincidence that things which should be easy aren't and things that shouldn't be are. I suppose it's yet another way sin has twisted out natures around. The fact that I have to ponder something that I know I should do is depressing at times, even when they're not moral choices. When they are, it's downhill from there. Romans 7 is an ironic comfort, knowing that even the most eminent have experienced exactly the same malady. At the same time, the struggle itself is evidence of spiritual life. Dead fish float downstream, only live fish feel the current as they struggle to swim upstream.

"You have not because you ask not. You ask and do not receive because you ask in vain, that you may spend it on your pleasures... Purify your hearts, you double-minded."

"We're all bastards but God loves us anyway"
--the gospel in 10 words or less [Phillip Yancey]

Kickin' it east coast style

It's been a pretty good day, in most ways. The office was still there, just like it was a week ago. Kyle was in town from Redmond, so we got to talk to he and Kevin over dinner and an extended time afterwards; it's 2am now and we ate 5 hours ago and we just wrapped up talking. He picked up copies of Vista for us, so I'll have something cool to try out once I get the time.... and the memory I just ordered.

Anyone can pray for something and believe that God is going to answer it. Few people can pray with the persuasion that I don't know what's best for me, and God may in fact be doing me the most good by not giving what I ask.

According to my fortune today, 1) my luck is about to change and 2) I will be on top of the world soon. I think that means that I'll soon be banished to Nepal by the end of the week.

What can I say?
I put my hand on my mouth
and repent in dust and ashes

Oftentimes maturity is not found in learning new things but learning old things in new and deeper ways. We know that God is sovereign, but we are learning that God is sovereign.
--somebody's article

It's been a bumpy ride

I'm back in North Carolina finally, after an interesting few days. To start with, I found out soon after arriving in California that my trip was a complete bust. Apparently the boot camp for which I was traveling was moved to August, and nobody managed to update the wiki page or tell me so. It's not my money, so I didn't really mind, but it still sucks to have gone through a lot of trouble and a lot of company money for something that ended up being a nothing but a working vacation.

I spent much of the Lord's day visiting Micah and Vielka and tooling around the city while I waited for their church service to be over [I ended up at the first service, they hit the second one]. I finally got good picture of the Golden Gate bridge; I've repeatedly either forgotten my camera or arrived too late in the day until now. Tuesday evening I was able to hang with Jay and Anuja, who were out of town until the day before.

The real piece-de-resistance happened monday afternoon when I apparently lost my phone in the parking lot while leaving the building. On returning to the scene it was nowhere to be found, and after searching exhaustively, I'd given it up for lost. Turns out someone turned it in, apparently during the scant minute or so before I returned, and the secretary had it all along. After recovering it the next day, it was a definite load off. God is good.

I will give serious thought before flying out of Las Vegas again. For the third time in a row, I think, I've ended up sitting proximate to a child making a big disruption. Adding to that bad weather in Raleigh which diverted our flight back to Greensboro, we arrived about 2 hours late, causing me to miss my second straight rehearsal for the Brazil trip. Needless to say, I'm glad that's over.

Tomorrow's going to be an interesting day, for more than a few reasons-- rest from a trip, continuing mental headaches with a project at work, being back in the office for the first time in a good while, and that's just the stuff I'll talk about. Here's hoping it goes well.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will direct your paths

How do I know the will of God?

It's been a busy-busy-busy past few days. After changing several flights at the last minute, I flew to Newark NJ to attend the visitation and memorial service for a childhood friend up at Trinity church in Montville. I spent some time with the folks [in NJ] before flying over to San Jose last night and spent this Lord's day in San Francisco with Micah and Vielka.

It's sad that as one gets older, you fall out of touch with people even without meaning to. As the saying goes "weddings and funerals, weddings and funerals." That's what ends up bringing people together. While the cause for such a get together was surely the worse, gatherings of far flung brethren are perhaps the best ways I can imagine spending time. As a pastor put it recently, ... that's what the bread-and-butter of heaven will be-- spending time with fellow redeemed sinners. I had time to talk to Mike Thomas, Cinthia, Rachel, Nate and Lisa, to name a few; it really was a blessed time. Pastor McDearmon preached an abbreviated sermon for the memorial service, much of which was laid out in great detail by Dan and Priscilla a month earlier when it was clear that the end was imminent. I believe it was the best, clearest, most heart gripping sermon I've ever heard him preach. All in all, an amazing day, fitting of the sure hope that the power of Christ provides even in the face of the last and greatest enemy.

Today's message was a good one; I visited City Church of San Francisco where Micah and Vielka currently attend. The service wasn't quite what I am used to, but seemed appropriately Christ centered. The message centered on the well known verse from Proverbs 3:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not upon your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will direct your paths.

Pastor Scot made the point that the issue in knowing God's will is a matter of trust, not one of information. There are many who would say they want to know God's will in the sense that they want to know what He has planned, so that they can then be arbiter over whether they will God along with that plan or not. God knows exactly what is best for me and how to carry it out, and it is nothing but pure arrogance to presume that I have the right to sit as judge over Him. While most people would say "I'm not like that at all," self-centeredness is wrapped around our nature so tightly that we often do not even perceive it.

There was a quote in the worship bulletin; I don't remember the author name, but I'll summarize [and embellish according to my understanding] its gist. Knowing the will of God is not achieved by impressions, nudges, or other mystical communications of the Spirit. Editor's note: shame on all those believers, both true and sham professors, who would say "the Lord told me" or suchlike as a justification for their course of action. It is by being conformed to His image, by the progressive work of the Spirit, that we begin to love the things that He loves, value the things that He values, and desire the things that He desires. Learning the will of God is not knowing His plans, so that we may judge them, but having our will conformed to His so that we don't have to think "well what does He want me to do" in some kind of "slug it out and follow His orders." Instead, I notice myself being changed to such an extent that I don't need to follow His orders, because what my Spirit-renewed self-will most wants lines up perfectly with His character, without needing Law-induced rule-following to prod it to conform.

More trip-updates and craziness of my life at a later time.

Normalcy, my kingdom for some normalcy

It's been a long few days, despite the relative dearth of substantial work. I'd really give anything for a weekend that has nothing happening, because there's been something I've been meaning to do for a while now and been completely thwarted by coincidental providences. Faith is easy when things are going according to plan; real character is shown by how one deals with divine-ordained circumstances that cross your will. I'd have said that that's what I've learned over the last year or so... but I'm still in the proverbial classroom.

It looks like I'll be flying to Newark sometime on Friday, attending a visitation and memorial service for Dan, and then flying straightaway to the west coast for a few days. After that, who knows. More on that later.

Sunday, blessed Sunday

It's been a pretty good day; I managed to get to sleep at a reasonable hour last night, though I missed my nap. All the Christoph kids were in town save Lydia, so I was able to talk to them for most of the afternoon instead.

The adult class moved on the the next chapter in Ryle, titled Holiness. We began with a quote. "Sound Protestant and even Evangelical doctrine is worse than useless without a holy life; it does active harm." Casey began at Hebrews 12:14 and I Peter 1:15-16, and moved on to Jesus' denunciation of the Pharisee's attention to outward religiosity while making no effort to address their own hearts.

Holiness is an inside-out process. Outward morality can be achieved without the grace of God, so that everyone you see would assume one to be a follower of Christ, but only the indwelling Spirit can affect a climactic breaking of the power of reigning sin in the heart. A holy life won't earn you squat with God, but the Spirit-implanted faith that _does_ impute Christ's righteousness will not sit idle.

Sanctification does not save, only justification, but the two are married; you will never find one without the other. The God who justifies by faith alone effects a sanctification that, while it is only possible by His strength, demands our constant conscious effort.

"Sanctify them by Your truth; Your word is truth." --Jesus

Sanctification effects a change that makes its objects resemble Christ in all aspects of His perfect humanity. "And beholding Him as in a mirror, we are being transformed into His likeness." Acts 4:13 - apostles are recognized "as having been with Jesus." There was something in their words and behavior that was reminiscent of the behavior of Jesus. Those who are becoming like him will increasingly love what He loves and hate what He hates.

I didn't really take decent notes from the morning message [from Colossians 1:10] and the evening message [from James 4:11-12], though they were both excellent messages. Perhaps I'll remember somethings to jot down as I recollect them during the week.

Saturday, social Saturday

Frisbee didn't happen, but I managed to drive around a little today. As I had little to do, I ended up writing another driver today; I've been working on saturday's to make up some for the vacation I'm going to take at the end of the month; more work now, less vacation days that need to be taken later, or at least that's the theory. Randy hosted game night tonight, to which I went, tied for second in "Puerto Rico", and fell just short in Sitting Ducks. Oh well, maybe next time I'll actually win.

For some reason, I have a clearer sense of purpose than I've had in a while, though I'd be hard pressed to know why. It's not so much of a "I know what to do with myself", but more of a "I feel the green light" kind of thing. No, Warren, it wasn't cause of what you said, ... happened a little earlier, but thanks anyways :-).

Ironically, I'm totally keyed up right now, partly from having just spent the most social hours that I've had all week, partly from said clarity, partly from having soul-fill-up day just a few hours away, partly from having just had cause to realize how many cool algorithmic tricks I know from grad school and thereby feeling useful in Christy's problem-solving, and partly for no good reason at all. It's like I just had a shot of caffeine, even though I haven't had it in months. Maybe that 7up _did_ have caffeine in it; strange.

After writing that, I realized that Cream soda has caffeine in it; I didn't think it did, which is why I had 2-3 glasses of it tonight. I'm going to get a splitting headache in two days from going back off caffeine, and I'm not going to get to sleep tonight for at least an hour or two. Caffeine didn't used to do that much to me, but when you're off it for months,... it makes you to haywire. I don't know what I'm going to do; I have no more work I can get done, it's midnight, and I need to be up in 8 hours. God helping me I will actually get to sleep before too long.

Great is Your faithfulness
to carry on with a sinner like me
--Newsboys

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.
-- Isaiah 58:13 a.k.a. where the 4th commandment rubber meets the road

I don't think people are meant to be by themselves

It's been another long day of bug-fixing; it's had it's ups and downs. After a phone conference in the morning, I was asked to back out a few changes I'd spend a decent amount of time on, in favor of someone else's seemingly shoddy code, keeping the status quo until next month's release. I shouldn't take it personally when I'm not listened to, but I guess it hits me every now and then. No volleyball after prayer meeting tonight; it's difficult to play in or after rain.

At Keith's insistence, I took a test yesterday designed to diagnose Asberger's syndrome. To both his and my amazement, I scored an "unaffected" with a score smack in the middle of their control group. It was funny, as I answered questions, to realize that I'd probably have answered those questions a lot differently just a few short years ago. I'm not _that_ bad at reading people, I just don't always act accordingly; I guess it boils down to self-control.

"I don't think people are meant to be by themselves."
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian, Scrubs

Irony points for the day: Ice-T plays a police detective on TV.

Bulls take it in the 8th

It's now 2 hours later, and I'm at the Joyce with keith after sucking out on trivia with a literally mean score of 15. The Bulls took control of the game in the 8th inning, scoring 3 on an off-the-wall double to take a 7-5 lead with which they held on to win. I'll probably head home now, unless Keith feels like playing pool. It's his birthday today, for what it's worth. All in all, it's been a fun-filled day.

Take me out to the ballgame

It's been a busy day, with lots or bugs to fix. I guess I bring it on myself, since I caused them, but it still takes a good chunk of time. I skipped out early to hit a Bulls baseball game with Stephy, Matthew and Esther, who are in town for a week or so from Scotland. Mary wanted to come but was unable to. It's been a pretty good game [it is ongoing, in the 8th inning], but we're still losing by a run or two. In an hour I'll be at the Joyce attempting to do decently at trivia; we haven't done that well of late.

It's amazing that I have a job for which I can do work while watching a ballgame. I am such a nerd, typing a blog while watching a ball game. W00t we just got a double play... back to the game.

Make religion the every-day business of your life,... or else

There are preachers that can preach, and then there are preachers who are deliver such a Spirit-drenched message so as to defy even predestination, if it were possible. If anything, it's a proof of the superhuman grip that sin has on the heart, that one could hear a sermon like I've heard today, not once but twice, and remain distant from Christ. Pastor William Hughes was in town for the weekend, standing in for Iain Murray, and he filled those shoes famously. I only hope I can properly digest what I've been privileged to hear today.

In the Sunday school, we were treated to a detailed survey of the life and ministry of David Livingstone. While hailed as an extraordinary explorer, his spiritual zeal to open the then-unknown continent of Africa to the gospel is often overlooked. One thing that stuck out in my mind was the death-bed counsel of a childhood mentor of his, as follows:

"Now, lad, make religion the every-day business of your
life, and not a thing of fits and starts; for if you do, temptation and
other things will get the better of you."

In the morning, he drew from 2 Corinthians 5, reading chapter 4 as a background to Paul's words of confidence at the onset of the 5th chapter -- "Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands." Pr. Hughes focussed his comments on Paul's analogy of heaven, making the point that, in the words of Richard Sibbs, "If a believer is gloomy all the time, he has forgotten what Christ has done for him. If he is happy all the time, he has forgotten what Christ is yet to do for him." He also noted Paul's complete absence of any mention of punishment to come, as taught by the supposed doctrine of Purgatory, which is not surprising since it is completely contradictory to Paul's understanding of redemption. Paul's confidence is rooted primarily in the believer's union with Christ through faith, which results in adopted sonship, the basis for a reconciled relationship with God.

An established relationship with God is predicated on the activity of all three members of the Godhead-- the election of God the Father, the blood sacrifice of the Son, and the presence of the Spirit, given at conversion as the guarantee of our future inheritance. To those who would claim that believing one to be permanently in grace is presumption, I would counter that Paul had no such hesitation. To quote, "we KNOW that we have a building from God", speaking of heaven. Such a belief is not presumption, but simply taking God at His word. To say that such knowledge is not possible is to deny not only Paul's words, but those of Peter ["but you, make your calling and election sure"], and more importantly, those of Christ ["he who comes to me, I will in no wise cast out"]; and these are just a sampling of what is assured to the believer all across the New and Old testaments.

In the evening, Pr. Hughes delivered a heart-string-pulling exposition of the words of Christ at the end of Matthew 11, "Come unto me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and humble of hear, and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I really can't capture it here, you'll have to listen to it off the website at www.grbc.net if you can handle it.

Tired at last

Finally,... I'm tired, and it's the time that normal people sleep! After a 4-5am knock out time, a 10am rehearsal for Brazil, lunch with Keith at the Joyce, a checkin of yet another driver for this month's driver pack, and an evening picnic that was Andy's 4th of July shindig (2 weeks early) and a lot of Wii-playing with the other guests, I'm pretty much beat. Now if I can just go an hour without doing anything that gets my blood up, ... I'll actually fall asleep at a semi-normal time.

It's an unusual thing when different people bring up something that's been on your mind,... without you saying a word. Especially when one's your pastor, one's a friend, and one's someone you don't even know.

Some days you're the hamster; some days you're the wheel.

Pastor Hughes is up tomorrow, so it should be a very good day. Hopefully I'll be able to put all the things and people that are on my brain _out_ of mind, so as to concentrate on what matters more.

I don't like being this busy

You know it's a busy day when you don't view your favorite website once, don't even glance at facebook, don't do your usual crossword or two, barely leave the house, and when you do it's just to drop something off and decompress. It's a good thing that I have a roommate, and one with a girlfriend, or I think I'd get no social interaction at all in times like this. I guess that's a side effect of getting a whole lot done,... they think you can just do that all the time.

I'll be at a ballgame tomorrow night, I don't know what on Friday, and a barbecue on Saturday, so maybe that'll offset all the concentration I've been doing this week.

Take my frozen heart; awaken me
Never once have you forsaken me

Figures, right when I make up my mind to to something
suddenly all my time disappears like a fart in the wind
God has His timing, if I only knew what it was
But then I wouldn't need the eyes of faith

All work and no play

It's been at least 48 hours since I've walked out of the door of my apartment... for better or for worse. I've gotten a lot done, but as they say, all work and no play makes John a dull boy. I'm glad I like my work, though as I told Mary the other day, I'd probably have been a nuclear physicist or a chemist if I hadn't been an engineer, and I know I'd never have the schedule I have if I'd stuck with either of those. In lieu of the relatively boring details of the last day or so, I'll post my sermon notes.

The SS lesson reviewed chapter 2 of Ryle, focusing on the nature of sanctification but not quite getting to the end of the chapter which compare/contrasts it with justification. Sad, since that has been something that I would like to have heard given my past apparent ineptitude in explaining the differences to someone who clearly didn't understand the subject at all. Stephen made the point to emphasize that someone who has no desire to pursue holiness of life clearly has no connection with Christ, because one who has had the blood applied to his account could never do enough to conform his life to the One who gave His in exchange. When He says jump, he says "how high?"

Pastor Gary's morning message dovetailed well with the SS, beginning with the question "If you productivity at your job were to equal your productivity in the kingdom of God,... would you still have a job?" That question really got my attention, as the subject has been on my mind of late. I've been conscious of a dearth of my own involvement in church functions in general, and evangelistic speech in particular. It's not that I've been distant, but more that my focuses have been elsewhere. His later observation that, "wouldn't it been an embarrassing thing to reach heaven and be forced to acknowledge that there wasn't a single person there whom you had been used to bring there", hit me so hard it felt like I had an arrow hanging from my chest. There are many people that I am at least somewhat close to that are headed for a next-world of hurt, and yet I do little to speak of spiritual matters so as not to rock the proverbial boat. Don't I realize where they're headed or what I've been given? If I'd won a million dollars, wouldn't I be telling them all about it?

The new testament puts a non-trivial amount of focus on the bearing of fruit which, while being much broader than simple evangelism, is perhaps most characterized by the speaking of the good news to souls who need it. Holy living may raise questions, but it's not going to save anyone. That said, the presence of the Spirit is a powerful force to effect a change in one's living to the point that it is both baffling to unbelievers and unexplainable apart from that Spirit. Luke 5:17 - "..and the power of the Lord was present to perform healing." This power wasn't the power of the second Person, because that was veiled in humiliation. The gospels often speak of Jesus being heavily anointed by the Spirit of God; while we don't have it to the same measure, we do have that same Spirit. God, may that same Spirit so manifest itself in my actions.

The evening message focussed on Luke 5 and the account of the 4 men who lowered their paralyzed friend through a roof to get him to Jesus. Pastor Gary asked if we thought that their action was too "extreme" or whether it was justified. He made the point that we are quick to find fault in the actions of others, from how one orders a worship service to how people witness to others. Getting people to Jesus is worth any and all means, so long as you're bring them to the real Jesus and not a Jesus with the rough edges of total depravity and free justification.

We were also challenged to either host or support a 4-week evangelistic bible study in the coming fall months... something I plan to take take on. It's a funny feeling when someone challenges you to do something and you don't even have to think twice about it.

36 days and I'm off to the equatorial jungle. Ah yeah.

I'm short one "right broom", if you know what I mean

I'm watching Hitch... yet again, but this time on television. Last night was pretty eventful; I saw Oceans 13 with a Evan, Christy, and a few Christophs and, as it turned out, sat a row or two in front of Brad, Jillian, Brad K, Aubrey, Liz and a few other mebane kids. I was pleasantly surprised,... fearing a movie as bad as Oceans 12. I imagine it'll do well enough to consider and Oceans 14, but I hope if they decide to make it that it's a _good_ plot. I taught them how to use the Wii afterwards, ... I think Abbie really picked up the sports games really well.

Frisbee was a big event today, we actually got 8 people for a pretty good workout. Aside from the fact that I didn't go to bed until 6am this morning [working on a driver], ... it's been a good day. It was actually deliberate, in order to ensure that I fall asleep relatively early tonight. The Lord's day deserves me going to bed early enough to have a normal night's sleep,... something I haven't done for a few weeks now.

My mind is rather scattered of late, although the person who's causing it is very likely oblivious to it. My very deliberate focusing on my work is probably more of a result of it, rather than a method of coping. Being social alleviates it somewhat, but in a strange way it makes it more acute.

Theology is easy to go along with,.... until you try to apply it. There's a reason that it "is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and sprit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

Red Elvises

Eardrums were meant to be saturated. That said, it sucks to have your ears ringing and there's nothing you can do to get back peace and quiet other than simply waiting. I went to see the Red Elvises tonight after a long day of work... they were _awesome_! It was well worth the $10 cover, though now I can't manage to type a sentence without completely misspelling at least one word. Another girl told me that I look like Ed Norton, and I bought one of their greatest-hits cds. Maybe I'll actually get a _normal_ sleep tonight.....maybe.

Sometimes you pray for God's direction in making a yes/no choice, and sometimes you have to ask for the discernment to narrow down the options in your head because you can't make the yes/no choice while there are too many options on the table.

Some days, you wait and wait and wait

Today could have been much more busy, but since I'd crashed my device the night before and it's on the west coast and I'm not,.... I had to wait. Turns out the one guy who could reset it didn't come up until after lunch PST and even then didn't get right to it. It's probably why I'm still up working at crazy hours.... and you thought crazy hours were just a grad school thing.

Apparently "Hitch" is about to make it's television debut... it's probably the greatest movie ever, which is probably why I ended up seeing it in the theater 4 separate times within the course of a week or so. The cast was selected perfectly, it has almost as many quotable lines as Monty Python and the Princess Bride, and is both real and topical without being stereotypical, which is rather rare in a romantic comedy. And as experience bears out, it is also very true in its thesis.... all you need is the right broom.

Yes, it's 4am

Good day... even if I spent it working from my couch. Rehearsal went pretty well tonight, ... maybe all that Portuguese pronunciation won't be _that_ bad. Saw keith and mike again at the joyce,... it's been a while, and topped it off with talking for a while to a girl who is a spitting image of Reese Witherspoon.

You know you're answering a question honestly when you don't even skip a beat with the answer.

Yes, it's 4am.

I hate seeing the same advert several times within 30 minutes.

I do, in fact, know when to keep my mouth shut; I just end up ignoring it.

There's nothing quite so affirming as someone telling you something you were thinking without them knowing that that's what you were thinking just then. Now if I could just have an opportunity to put that into action.... but I don't control Providence and for good reason.

Party spirit is just plain wrong

Good day, and I finally have another driver to work on. Other than getting called by a random saleswoman who didn't even seem to know _who_ she was trying to contact, today was pretty average. Rehearsals for Brazil start up again tomorrow after a month hiatus... goodbye every-afternoon-free, hello learning to sing in Portuguese.

Sometimes it's far to easy to be critical when listening to someone describe things that their church does that are different from the way your church does it. I should really be glass-half-full without having to remind myself to be charitable. A party spirit is hardly a Christian virtue, and definitely not in line with the reaction of Christ to his disciples persecution of someone casting out demons in the name of Christ who wasn't one of their circle. Luke 9:50 "Do not hinder him; for he who is not against you is for you." As John the Baptist put it,... He must increase, I must decrease. Recognizing that the work of God as supersedes one's own party is sometimes difficult, but to do otherwise is nothing but arrogance.

I will not love a world that crucified him

The wonderful thing about God is that He always seems to know just what you need to hear and brings it. This time it came in adult class, which started going through Ryle's Holiness this week. I've been told by some people that Ryle is hard to read, but frankly I don't see it. There is no one else who wields the same level of Biblical knowledge combined with the tact and balanced approach clearly born of soaking one's soul in that knowledge for protracted periods. If only the Anglican church today held a candle to the religion of Ryle, it sure would be something.

I will not love a world that crucified him,
neither cherish nor endure the sin
that put him to grief,
nor suffer him to be wounded by others.
-- Valley of Vision

Nothing motivates the putting of sin to death and moves the soul to quit affection for the wolrld quite like the realization of what it cost the Redeemer.

How can the works of believers please God, since they're still shot through and through with sin? Even the best works performed by those who are not united to Christ are like submitting a 5-year-old's art drawing to a professional art contest. Even at their best, they don't come within missile range of being worthy of anything more than being immediately thrown in the trash bin. But take those same drawings and give them to that child's father, and they are suddenly priceless. The value comes not from the skill of the drawing, but the preexisting relationship between the artist and the benefactor. God is pleased not because of the quality of the deeds, but by the efforts of His adopted children in Christ to please him, weak though those efforts be.

"Walking in a manner worthy of the Lord" can never mean to walk in a way that would make one deserving, even in the least, of the favor of God because that is simply not possible. Even though we were still in our originally created innocence, we could never come close to meriting the condescension of Christ or the grace imparted by the indwelling Spirit. That said, saints worthy of the name so mirrors Christ that anyone who gets to know them should be able to at least say "if Christ makes a person into that, then tell me more about Him". There are sadly far too many who name the name of Christ of whom it can be rightly said, as I saw on a bumper sticker, "Jesus save us ..... from your followers." As John the Baptist [no not me :-)] put it, "bring forth fruits worthy of your repentance."